Day 1- The dreaded "See-You-Laters"

In the early hours of morning, my children and I said good-bye to my soldier husband and sent him off to war. It was the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do. Knowing he is going to be in danger while defending our freedom, having to kiss him goodbye felt like I was being ripped in half. On one hand, I had to be there for my children, and on the other, I couldn't stand to let him go. But, I am an Army wife, this is what we do. We hug and kiss our soldiers goodbye and send them off to war with them knowing that we love them, will miss them, we will survive this, and we will be here when the he gets back. Not that I was insanely brave... Don't get me wrong. I was crying harder than I have ever cried, I felt like I couldn't breathe, and had to force myself to leave that gym.

I was extremely lucky, if one can be lucky in this situation. My best friend in the world, came up to be with me during this time. With her and her kids, they were able to help me get through this horrible day and helped to distract my children. They were there for the deployment ceremony and just their presence was immensely helpful. The hardest part was when my son, he's 4, finally realized that his daddy was leaving for a long time. Before, we had tried to tell him what was going on and explain the seriousness of it, but he never seemed to get it. Finally, with the 10 minute warning to say your final goodbyes, I told Daniel we had to say goodbye to daddy now, and the tears started flowing. He was beside himself because he now realized what was going on. And the sight of all three of my children in my husbands arms, crying, was more than I could take. Then we each gave him our individual hugs and goodbyes, did one more family hug, and said goodbye.

With that, I drove home, barely able to control myself to be able to see out the window. I got home, put the kids to bed, said goodnight and went up to my room. I was still sad that my husband left, but at the same time, I was proud of what he does and the man he is. I knew, as I closed my eyes next to his pillow and shirt, that I could do this and I would not only survive this deployment, but I would thrive. I will live life with my children and keep the house up in anticipation of the day he comes home. I knew I would not get much sleep, but I knew I would wake up in a few hrs, still missing him, but more determined than ever. And that is what I am look towards now.