Today was the first day of school that we had to get through without my dad. Sure enough, it was rough. I was so close to being late. I was frustrated trying to push them out the door. Luckily, everyone made it to school on time and alive. I was composed before the bell rang and ready to start another work week.
After school, I grabbed the kids and headed off to run an errand to get some paperwork for my credential. It was faster than anticipated and we got home well before dinner and were able to spend time just hanging out and doing homework. Ian also called us tonight and we got to talk to him for a little bit. The kids told him about their day and he told them about his day. It wasn't a long conversation, but it was still what the kids, Ian, and myself needed. After that, I got the kids ready for bed and have been enjoying some quiet time.
I am back to staying up late. I have found that I need the alone time and the only time I can get it is after the kids go to bed. So, I stay up late. I am staying up later without Ian because he has a tendency to push me to bed and I don't mind it because I am with him. Being alone in bed seems to make it harder. Before R&R it was getting better, but fr some reason R&R seems to me Reset and Restart. I feel like I am starting this deployment over again with the date of reunion so far away. I know it is just a trick of the mind and that it is the blues talking, but I can't help but feel this way. I miss him. I know I will power through this and make it through, but right now it is a bumpy road. I hope it smooths out soon and I will pray as hard as I can for God to help me get to that smooth part. Then again, I wouldn't be who I am without these rough patches in my life, right?
So, that is my frame of mind right now. I know it is rough, but I will get through it and I know it will get easier. I will keep strong and keep my faith in God and allow Him to walk me through this. One day at a time, one step at a time... Until he is in my arms again.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Day 158: The importance of involvement
My husband left just a week before Thanksgiving. It was hard that he left so close to the holidays and wasn't able to celebrate them with us. In my not-so-infinite wisdom, I didn't think about celebrating the holidays while he was home until the day before he left, and at that time, there was no time to do it. I wanted to put up the Christmas tree early so he could be here to do it with us. I also realized that having a family Thanksgiving while he was home would have been a great idea. Why I didn't think about it sooner is beyond me and I truly do regret it. I know R&R is only 2 weeks long, and we fit a lot of things into it, but still, I really wish we would have celebrated what we could while he was here.
Since I was not so smart and didn't decorate while Ian was here, I decided to wait to have the kids decorate the Christmas tree until this morning. Ian got on Skype this morning and watched us decorate the tree. It was pretty fun because he was commenting the whole time to the kids about how great they were doing. The kids also showed him the ornaments as they were hanging them up and we talked about what each ornament meant. Our Christmas tree is a bunch of different ornaments with no real theme. Some are handmade by the kids or myself and some are one we got in various places we have been and lived. Ian seemed to really enjoy it and it was the next best thing to him actually being here.
It is the theme of this deployment for us... Involved. We are trying so hard to keep each other involved in our lives while we are separated. I think that is why we are handling the deployment as well as we are, because we are determined to stay connected and involved. He tries to be there for the big things, if he can, even getting up at 2 am if needed to be at a birthday party. I tell him about the mundane every day things and let him know what is going on. It helps. It works for us. I think if we didn't do this, we would both be having a harder time at this deployment because, as I have stated before, not being involved or communicating with each other is not the way our marriage works. So, even though decorating the tree was not a super huge event, it was something that was important for him, for the kids, and for me to be able to do together. We are luckier than some that he had the time today to do this, and we take it when we can get it because we never know when he is going to be out of communication for a while.
Every day that goes by, I don't think of it as just another day we have spent apart, I think of it as us being another day closer to being together. That makes it more bearable.
Since I was not so smart and didn't decorate while Ian was here, I decided to wait to have the kids decorate the Christmas tree until this morning. Ian got on Skype this morning and watched us decorate the tree. It was pretty fun because he was commenting the whole time to the kids about how great they were doing. The kids also showed him the ornaments as they were hanging them up and we talked about what each ornament meant. Our Christmas tree is a bunch of different ornaments with no real theme. Some are handmade by the kids or myself and some are one we got in various places we have been and lived. Ian seemed to really enjoy it and it was the next best thing to him actually being here.
It is the theme of this deployment for us... Involved. We are trying so hard to keep each other involved in our lives while we are separated. I think that is why we are handling the deployment as well as we are, because we are determined to stay connected and involved. He tries to be there for the big things, if he can, even getting up at 2 am if needed to be at a birthday party. I tell him about the mundane every day things and let him know what is going on. It helps. It works for us. I think if we didn't do this, we would both be having a harder time at this deployment because, as I have stated before, not being involved or communicating with each other is not the way our marriage works. So, even though decorating the tree was not a super huge event, it was something that was important for him, for the kids, and for me to be able to do together. We are luckier than some that he had the time today to do this, and we take it when we can get it because we never know when he is going to be out of communication for a while.
Every day that goes by, I don't think of it as just another day we have spent apart, I think of it as us being another day closer to being together. That makes it more bearable.
Day 157: Only me
Only I can really cause the kind of destruction I did on a day like today. It only ever happens to me and is totally my own fault.
Today, my dad left. He pulled out around 8am and I decided that would be a great time to start really working on my house and getting all the Christmas decorations going. (You can kinda see where this is going, huh?) In my house is a HUGE entertainment center. It is a German shrunk that allows you to adjust the height of the shelves that are over the TV area. Well, when I an first put it together, the bottom shelf was too high for my liking, and I decided now to right that wrong. Instead of cleaning it all off, I thought I could just move it with everything on there... yeah, that was stupid. I had a really pretty crystal cross that I bought in Germany on there, and it flew off and shattered. When I say it shattered, it really shattered. There were pieces everywhere. So, I cleaned up my mess, and decided that since the only really breakable thing on there was already broken, I could go ahead with the initial plan. EPIC FAIL! So, as I am moving the shelf, I apparently put it in there in such a way that the two support sides, were pushed out, and the top two shelves came crashing down on top of me. The kids were upstairs, so I had to yell for my oldest to come help me get stuff, so I could keep the boards from falling on the TV. It was a disaster. Luckily, though, only one thing broke, and that was a wax warmer. So, my sidetracked self decided that since I had already removed the center boards and TV, it would be light enough to move. So, I rearranged my living room. Then had to clean it all back up again, and put back together the entertainment center.
After that, I put up the Christmas tree and put up all the decorations that belong on the entertainment center. The living room looks good now, but it was painful to get it there. The funniest part is that, in the course of all that, I was scratched up and bruised, but didn't notice it until I was getting ready for bed tonight. My husband got on Skype with me tonight as I was sitting in the living room, and immediately noticed, by the little bit of background that he could see, that I rearranged the living room. So, I told him the whole story of what happened. After ascertaining that I was okay, he chuckled at it a little bit and told me to be more careful next time. After getting off with him, I called my best friend and talked to her for a little bit. I told her about my stupid exploits and she was rolling, laughing so hard. All she could say was, "Only you, Laura. Only you." And I had to agree. It was a total me thing to do.
The days are starting to move a little more now. Not quite as fast as they were feeling before R&R, but getting better. Taking it one day at a time.
Today, my dad left. He pulled out around 8am and I decided that would be a great time to start really working on my house and getting all the Christmas decorations going. (You can kinda see where this is going, huh?) In my house is a HUGE entertainment center. It is a German shrunk that allows you to adjust the height of the shelves that are over the TV area. Well, when I an first put it together, the bottom shelf was too high for my liking, and I decided now to right that wrong. Instead of cleaning it all off, I thought I could just move it with everything on there... yeah, that was stupid. I had a really pretty crystal cross that I bought in Germany on there, and it flew off and shattered. When I say it shattered, it really shattered. There were pieces everywhere. So, I cleaned up my mess, and decided that since the only really breakable thing on there was already broken, I could go ahead with the initial plan. EPIC FAIL! So, as I am moving the shelf, I apparently put it in there in such a way that the two support sides, were pushed out, and the top two shelves came crashing down on top of me. The kids were upstairs, so I had to yell for my oldest to come help me get stuff, so I could keep the boards from falling on the TV. It was a disaster. Luckily, though, only one thing broke, and that was a wax warmer. So, my sidetracked self decided that since I had already removed the center boards and TV, it would be light enough to move. So, I rearranged my living room. Then had to clean it all back up again, and put back together the entertainment center.
After that, I put up the Christmas tree and put up all the decorations that belong on the entertainment center. The living room looks good now, but it was painful to get it there. The funniest part is that, in the course of all that, I was scratched up and bruised, but didn't notice it until I was getting ready for bed tonight. My husband got on Skype with me tonight as I was sitting in the living room, and immediately noticed, by the little bit of background that he could see, that I rearranged the living room. So, I told him the whole story of what happened. After ascertaining that I was okay, he chuckled at it a little bit and told me to be more careful next time. After getting off with him, I called my best friend and talked to her for a little bit. I told her about my stupid exploits and she was rolling, laughing so hard. All she could say was, "Only you, Laura. Only you." And I had to agree. It was a total me thing to do.
The days are starting to move a little more now. Not quite as fast as they were feeling before R&R, but getting better. Taking it one day at a time.
Day 156: Last day of having help
I got up super early this morning and decided to hit one black Friday sale. I needed to get something for the kids and I knew it would be an easy store to get in and out of. Plus that store had huge, nice dog beds for $15 and my big Lab/Great Dane mix needed a bed up in my room, since he started sleeping there every night since Ian left. On my way home from that sale, I took my time and stopped at the PX close to my house just to have a look around. I grabbed their flyer and saw that they had an XBOX 360 for $100! Only problem was, the electronics were all the way across post at the other PX. I knew I would be too late, but figured I would try it anyways. Sure enough, there were none left. I was bummed that I didn't see that ad before then, because I wanted to get that for my husband for Christmas, even though he ruined his own present, like he does EVERY year. Let me explain, every year since my husband and I have been together, I decide to get him something for Christmas sometime in the early fall. So, at that time, I start planning it out and saving the money, if needed. Well, sometime in November, my husband decides to go and get whatever it is that I am planning to get him, for himself. Thus, my present plans are ruined. This year is no exception. I was planning on getting him an XBOX 360 after the first and sending it to him. Well, not to break tradition this year, he decided he was going to buy one for himself and started looking for deals. So, when I told him that was what I planned on, he just smiled at me and apologized. He then looked at me (through the computer of course), smiled, and said, "Well, there are like 6 games I want, so you can get me those instead!" Yeah, the fact that that man is 7,000+ miles away is the only reason he did not get it from me. I just scowled playfully at him and told him that he is buying his present.
So, I spent the rest of the day working on laundry and having leftovers for every meal. I am quite the Twilight fan, so while working on laundry and eating lunch, I started a Twilight marathon and had myself a turkey sandwich, slice of pumpkin pie, and a Dr. Pepper. It was great. My dad had the kids outside riding their bicycles while he was packing his truck to head home tomorrow.
It has been nice having my dad here with me. I have been able to do things without worrying about finding a sitter and he was really good at tag teaming with me, especially when I was sick. So, tonight, since he is leaving in the morning, I took the last chance I had to go see a late movie. I waited until the kids were in bed, and then left. I went by myself, which was fine and was also relaxing. So, here I am, realizing that tomorrow I am going to be on my own again and that I really need to find a sitter I can trust and use consistently. Plus, it doesn't help that I am coupling this feeling with the fact that I am really missing my husband tonight. Needless to say, it is not one of my best nights so far.
Another day done, another day closer to seeing my husband again. It feels like we still have forever to go, but I just have to take it one day at a time.
So, I spent the rest of the day working on laundry and having leftovers for every meal. I am quite the Twilight fan, so while working on laundry and eating lunch, I started a Twilight marathon and had myself a turkey sandwich, slice of pumpkin pie, and a Dr. Pepper. It was great. My dad had the kids outside riding their bicycles while he was packing his truck to head home tomorrow.
It has been nice having my dad here with me. I have been able to do things without worrying about finding a sitter and he was really good at tag teaming with me, especially when I was sick. So, tonight, since he is leaving in the morning, I took the last chance I had to go see a late movie. I waited until the kids were in bed, and then left. I went by myself, which was fine and was also relaxing. So, here I am, realizing that tomorrow I am going to be on my own again and that I really need to find a sitter I can trust and use consistently. Plus, it doesn't help that I am coupling this feeling with the fact that I am really missing my husband tonight. Needless to say, it is not one of my best nights so far.
Another day done, another day closer to seeing my husband again. It feels like we still have forever to go, but I just have to take it one day at a time.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Day 155: Thanksgiving Day
Today was a great day, and a little sad at the same time. I had a great time with my friend Lyssa and her family and enjoyed cooking part of the meal for all to enjoy. Being with my friend (my new extended family) made my holiday so much better. The fact that they were so welcoming to my kids and me for Thanksgiving was heartwarming and made me feel so loved. We ate and talked, then the kids played all night together as we talked some more. Then, Ian called on Skype while we were still there and we all got to talk to him. We had a lot of laughs as I told him about some of the exploits of the kids and showed him the kids playing around on our iPhones, huddled in a circle. I stayed way later than I probably should have, but we all had so much fun and the kids were loving it too. Luckily Lyssa didn't mind because she knows how I feel and how nice it is to just hang out at a friend's house rather than go home.
I also got to talk to Ian this morning. I felt bad because I asked him how his Thanksgiving meal was and he said it didn't taste that good. He was able to spend it with a friend that we met in Germany about 6 years ago, but he said he would have preferred his wife and kids. I prefer that too, but there really is nothing we can do about that. So, yes, the day was great, but sad because we missed Ian.
In keeping with the spirit of the holiday, I have been thinking about all the things I am thankful for. I am thankful for my husband, my kids, my family, and my friends. Some people would think me crazy, but I am thankful for the Army. I am thankful for everything my husband has done to provide for us and for everything the Army provides for us. I am thankful for all the service members out there and am thankful for all those that show their support of service members and their families. I am thankful for those that show my husband support, because by supporting him, they are supporting me. I am thankful for living in this great country. I am just thankful for all that I have and for everyone in my life.
One holiday down. Successfully accomplished. Getting closer, day by day.
I also got to talk to Ian this morning. I felt bad because I asked him how his Thanksgiving meal was and he said it didn't taste that good. He was able to spend it with a friend that we met in Germany about 6 years ago, but he said he would have preferred his wife and kids. I prefer that too, but there really is nothing we can do about that. So, yes, the day was great, but sad because we missed Ian.
In keeping with the spirit of the holiday, I have been thinking about all the things I am thankful for. I am thankful for my husband, my kids, my family, and my friends. Some people would think me crazy, but I am thankful for the Army. I am thankful for everything my husband has done to provide for us and for everything the Army provides for us. I am thankful for all the service members out there and am thankful for all those that show their support of service members and their families. I am thankful for those that show my husband support, because by supporting him, they are supporting me. I am thankful for living in this great country. I am just thankful for all that I have and for everyone in my life.
One holiday down. Successfully accomplished. Getting closer, day by day.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Day 154: I just don't care
So, it hasn't even been a week since my husband left to go back downrange and it feels like it has been a month. He left exactly a week before Thanksgiving, and it really helped the holiday sneak up on me. I am just not in the mood for this holiday, and really wouldn't care if I celebrated it or not. If it weren't for one of my best friends, Lyssa, inviting my kids and me over for dinner, I don't know if I really would have put in the effort. I know it is important for my kids to keep things normal and still celebrate the holidays with them, but it is hard because the separation is still so "new" again. I am sure I would have done something with my kids, like maybe go to the DFAC (dining facility) on post, to have a Thanksgiving meal, anything to say that we celebrated without having to really put effort into a holiday I don't want to face without my husband. We have celebrated holidays apart before, but the beauty of military lifestyle is that I have never been alone. This year is no different. I am not alone this year, but I guess because of my job and Ian coming home, I have not seen many of my friends in weeks and I feel a little apart from them. Plus the fact that he just left makes it just that much harder.
I am still thankful for the holiday and thankful for all that I have. I am thankful that my husband is safe over there and thankful that our love is still going strong. I am thankful for my family and my friends who stay by me through it all and support my husband, kids, and me. I am thankful for my kids who give me a reason to keep going when all I want to do is curl into a ball. Just because I am not in the mood for the holiday doesn't mean I am not thankful for this life I have, I am, but I am just not feeling celebratory at this very moment.
Another day done, another day closer to seeing him.
I am still thankful for the holiday and thankful for all that I have. I am thankful that my husband is safe over there and thankful that our love is still going strong. I am thankful for my family and my friends who stay by me through it all and support my husband, kids, and me. I am thankful for my kids who give me a reason to keep going when all I want to do is curl into a ball. Just because I am not in the mood for the holiday doesn't mean I am not thankful for this life I have, I am, but I am just not feeling celebratory at this very moment.
Another day done, another day closer to seeing him.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Day 153: Unexplained
Today was a great day at work. Even though I am a sub, I really feel like I am part of the team at the school I am working for. It is a great feeling to be part of the team rather than "just a sub" because I feel like I belong there and that my contributions matter at that school.
After school today, I came home to be with my kids and enjoy the afternoon. I wasn't expecting to have to do a lot of housework, because for the first time since moving back stateside, I hired someone to come in and help me out since I have been sick. Unfortunately, when I got home, it wasn't how I was expecting. I ended up having to re-do the floors and the tubs, and tomorrow I have to clean the baseboards that were not done. So, I will have to do some extra chores, on top of what I already knew I would have to do, tomorrow and it will leave less time for anything else. It is a good thing my dad is here though, because he can take the kids to the park or outside to ride their bikes so I can get a few things done around here.
The kids and I also got to talk to Ian tonight via Skype and we really enjoyed it. We literally talked about nothing and everything and loved ever minute of it. The kids were being their goofy selves and showed off for Ian. Daniel was actually interested in talking to Ian and was upset when Ian had to go. That is progress for him. Usually he doesn't want to talk to Ian, so I am happy that he seemed interested tonight.
Even after this great day I have had, I still can't seem to shake the blues. I can't explain completely what is going on because one minute I am okay and the next I am melancholy. A lot of people tell me that is okay, and I know in a way it is. I just hate the unexplained mood changes that take me from okay to sad in about 2.5 seconds. Looking back on the mood change of the night, I think it came a lot from my husband getting off the computer with me (I always hate to let him go, no matter how long we get to talk) and the various fits the kids give me as I am getting them ready for bed. Either way, I don't like it, but it is a fact of life right now. So, that is where I am. I am tired and sad. It isn't the easiest thing for me to say, but it is honest. I will not always have good strong days/times, and that is okay. The point is that I am here, I stand proud behind my husband, and I am living during this deployment.
Another day is done, with God's help. Another day closer to holding my husband in my arms again. And with God's help, I will be able to get through the feelings as they come and keep taking it one day at a time.
After school today, I came home to be with my kids and enjoy the afternoon. I wasn't expecting to have to do a lot of housework, because for the first time since moving back stateside, I hired someone to come in and help me out since I have been sick. Unfortunately, when I got home, it wasn't how I was expecting. I ended up having to re-do the floors and the tubs, and tomorrow I have to clean the baseboards that were not done. So, I will have to do some extra chores, on top of what I already knew I would have to do, tomorrow and it will leave less time for anything else. It is a good thing my dad is here though, because he can take the kids to the park or outside to ride their bikes so I can get a few things done around here.
The kids and I also got to talk to Ian tonight via Skype and we really enjoyed it. We literally talked about nothing and everything and loved ever minute of it. The kids were being their goofy selves and showed off for Ian. Daniel was actually interested in talking to Ian and was upset when Ian had to go. That is progress for him. Usually he doesn't want to talk to Ian, so I am happy that he seemed interested tonight.
Even after this great day I have had, I still can't seem to shake the blues. I can't explain completely what is going on because one minute I am okay and the next I am melancholy. A lot of people tell me that is okay, and I know in a way it is. I just hate the unexplained mood changes that take me from okay to sad in about 2.5 seconds. Looking back on the mood change of the night, I think it came a lot from my husband getting off the computer with me (I always hate to let him go, no matter how long we get to talk) and the various fits the kids give me as I am getting them ready for bed. Either way, I don't like it, but it is a fact of life right now. So, that is where I am. I am tired and sad. It isn't the easiest thing for me to say, but it is honest. I will not always have good strong days/times, and that is okay. The point is that I am here, I stand proud behind my husband, and I am living during this deployment.
Another day is done, with God's help. Another day closer to holding my husband in my arms again. And with God's help, I will be able to get through the feelings as they come and keep taking it one day at a time.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Day 152: Back at Work
Today was my first day back at work after Ian returned downrange. It was nice to be back because it made the day go by quickly, but we are back to trying to align schedules again in order to talk. It is something that we again have to get used to and have to work on perfecting again. I spoke to Ian first thing this morning and it was nice to start my day off talking to him. The day went well, all in all, but my son was still not feeling well which meant he was home with my dad and I had to take him to the doctor's after work. He won't be able to go to school tomorrow either, but hopefully will be able to recover and go back to school Monday.
While on the way home from the doctor's office, my husband sent me a text asking me to get on Skype. I called my dad and asked him to have the girls get my laptop and get on with Ian. I made it home about 5 minutes later, and we all got to talk to Ian before bed. It was nice for all of us and the kids like feeling connected to him, especially during the week when they haven't usually been able to talk to him.
So, here I am, up later than I need to be. It is too quiet and I need to have background noise to keep my sane. I hat the feeling of my empty bed and too quiet room. I miss hearing his light snore and knowing he is right there with me. I know I will get better with it, but also know it will take time. Just like when he left the first time, it took me a few months to get used to sleeping alone. I hope it doesn't take that long this time, but we will have to see. The one thing I do have going for me this time is that I have my job that requires me to get some sleep and be able to function as well as my kids that need me to function for them. It is always nice to have something that forces you to keep living, even when you feel like staying in bed all day.
Taking it one day at a time, one step at a time.
While on the way home from the doctor's office, my husband sent me a text asking me to get on Skype. I called my dad and asked him to have the girls get my laptop and get on with Ian. I made it home about 5 minutes later, and we all got to talk to Ian before bed. It was nice for all of us and the kids like feeling connected to him, especially during the week when they haven't usually been able to talk to him.
So, here I am, up later than I need to be. It is too quiet and I need to have background noise to keep my sane. I hat the feeling of my empty bed and too quiet room. I miss hearing his light snore and knowing he is right there with me. I know I will get better with it, but also know it will take time. Just like when he left the first time, it took me a few months to get used to sleeping alone. I hope it doesn't take that long this time, but we will have to see. The one thing I do have going for me this time is that I have my job that requires me to get some sleep and be able to function as well as my kids that need me to function for them. It is always nice to have something that forces you to keep living, even when you feel like staying in bed all day.
Taking it one day at a time, one step at a time.
Day 151: Trying to get back in the swing of things
11/20/2011
Today is Sunday. Family day. Usually we would normally have gone to church together, but the kids and I are all still sick. My son has pink-eye, and I did not want to expose other kids to that, so we stayed home. I needed to go to church, but I also needed some rest. I got to talk to Ian this morning via Skype and told him about us not feeling well. He felt bad for us, but was also still a little under the weather, and hoped that we all would feel better.
The rest of the day, I spent hanging out with the kids and did a little bit of cleaning up. I can't seem to find the energy to clean the house completely, either from being sick or just plain down about Ian being gone again, I can't tell. I just can't find the motivation to do it. I have toyed with the idea of having a cleaning service come in and straighten it up for me so I can start fresh and just work on upkeep, but I am not sure just yet. I asked for some recommendations from people in the area and was so surprised when I got some offers from a few friends who were willing to come over and help me out. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I have done it for others, but never expected people to offer it to me. It was such a nice gesture that I probably would have take people up on if I was able to be home tomorrow to work on it with them. Unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow and Tuesday, so I can't do anything until Wednesday. Still, getting the gestures and caring of my friends was nice to have.
One day at a time. Getting one day closer.
Today is Sunday. Family day. Usually we would normally have gone to church together, but the kids and I are all still sick. My son has pink-eye, and I did not want to expose other kids to that, so we stayed home. I needed to go to church, but I also needed some rest. I got to talk to Ian this morning via Skype and told him about us not feeling well. He felt bad for us, but was also still a little under the weather, and hoped that we all would feel better.
The rest of the day, I spent hanging out with the kids and did a little bit of cleaning up. I can't seem to find the energy to clean the house completely, either from being sick or just plain down about Ian being gone again, I can't tell. I just can't find the motivation to do it. I have toyed with the idea of having a cleaning service come in and straighten it up for me so I can start fresh and just work on upkeep, but I am not sure just yet. I asked for some recommendations from people in the area and was so surprised when I got some offers from a few friends who were willing to come over and help me out. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I have done it for others, but never expected people to offer it to me. It was such a nice gesture that I probably would have take people up on if I was able to be home tomorrow to work on it with them. Unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow and Tuesday, so I can't do anything until Wednesday. Still, getting the gestures and caring of my friends was nice to have.
One day at a time. Getting one day closer.
Day 150: Thankful
11/19/2011
On Facebook, a lot of people have been writing what they are thankful for... one a day for the whole month of November. I didn't start it, though I probably should have. For today, I would probably write that I am thankful for the time I had with my husband when he was home and that I am thankful that he made it to Afghanistan safely. I know that sounds weird, that I shouldn't be thankful for him being there, but the fact that he arrived safely makes me thankful. I am and will be thankful for every day he is safe while he is there and every day that brings him closer to being in my arms again. There are so many other things that I am thankful for, but today, this is the one at the forefront of my mind.
Another day closer. Still seems like his homecoming is forever away, but I know I just need to take it one day at a time and I will make it.
On Facebook, a lot of people have been writing what they are thankful for... one a day for the whole month of November. I didn't start it, though I probably should have. For today, I would probably write that I am thankful for the time I had with my husband when he was home and that I am thankful that he made it to Afghanistan safely. I know that sounds weird, that I shouldn't be thankful for him being there, but the fact that he arrived safely makes me thankful. I am and will be thankful for every day he is safe while he is there and every day that brings him closer to being in my arms again. There are so many other things that I am thankful for, but today, this is the one at the forefront of my mind.
Another day closer. Still seems like his homecoming is forever away, but I know I just need to take it one day at a time and I will make it.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Day 149: Picking back up again
11/18/2011
So, the time Ian was here was great. It was a mini vacation for all of us. The kids were out of school and I was off work the whole time he was home. We spent time together, we did things together, and we just enjoyed being a family unit again. I wasn't as worried about the state of my house, or the money we were spending, or the things I would usually be doing (like cakes) if he weren't home. The only thing that mattered was my little family. Spending all the time I could with my family and my husband was my only goal.
Now, that leaves me with some stuff to do. I have to start getting back into the swing of things and pick my life back up where I left off. I have to get the house back together and get ready to head back to work. I have to start planning time with the kids one-on-one again with me and plan some me time in the next month. So, that was my goal for the day, but my body had other plans. I am sick. So, I made an appointment for myself this morning and found out that I have "the crud" and a massive ear infection. I was supposed to work on a last minute cake for a sick baker, but ended up being sick myself, so I had to pass it along to someone else. I hated doing it, but I unfortunately had to.
So, instead of working on everything around here, it has been a lazy, sick day. I did, however, pick right back up with carrying my phone everywhere and lugging my laptop around with me and leaving it on next to my bed.
One day down, another day closer to seeing him again. Have to keep that in mind. Everyday I spend without him is another day closer to living with him again.
So, the time Ian was here was great. It was a mini vacation for all of us. The kids were out of school and I was off work the whole time he was home. We spent time together, we did things together, and we just enjoyed being a family unit again. I wasn't as worried about the state of my house, or the money we were spending, or the things I would usually be doing (like cakes) if he weren't home. The only thing that mattered was my little family. Spending all the time I could with my family and my husband was my only goal.
Now, that leaves me with some stuff to do. I have to start getting back into the swing of things and pick my life back up where I left off. I have to get the house back together and get ready to head back to work. I have to start planning time with the kids one-on-one again with me and plan some me time in the next month. So, that was my goal for the day, but my body had other plans. I am sick. So, I made an appointment for myself this morning and found out that I have "the crud" and a massive ear infection. I was supposed to work on a last minute cake for a sick baker, but ended up being sick myself, so I had to pass it along to someone else. I hated doing it, but I unfortunately had to.
So, instead of working on everything around here, it has been a lazy, sick day. I did, however, pick right back up with carrying my phone everywhere and lugging my laptop around with me and leaving it on next to my bed.
One day down, another day closer to seeing him again. Have to keep that in mind. Everyday I spend without him is another day closer to living with him again.
Day 148: Saying "See you later"....again
11/17/2011
Well, that sucked. Today, I put my husband back on a plane and sent him off to war with a kiss, a hug, and a wave.
We got up this morning and I helped Ian pack the last of his things in his bag. As we were getting ready to go, Ian had to finish a para-cord bracelet for Natalie and while he was doing that, Natalie took one of her stuffed bears and sneaked it into his backpack. When Ian tried to put the last of his stuff in his backpack and found the bear, he was confused. He thought it was put in there by accident, then realized when Natalie looked at him with eyes that were both proud and sad, that she did it on purpose. She wanted Ian to take the bear with him to remind him of her. At first he said he couldn't do it because he didn't have space in his backpack for it, but when I told him that it would mean a lot to her if he took it, he decided he would carry it on the plane, like a pillow. That made Natalie smile so widely, I thought her cheeks would hurt.
After packing all that up, we headed to the airport. The kids were pretty calm on the drive, as was I, mostly because I was driving, so I had to be. When we got to the airport, we asked if they would let us back with him to the gate to say bye. They gave the kids and I passes to get through security, but not on the plane. So, we sat there for about 40 minutes with Ian before he had to start boarding the plane. It was hard, because the kids didn't seem to notice what was really about to happen and they sat their watching TV like it was an ordinary day. Once they started to call for the plan to be boarded, the kids realized Ian was leaving, and they crying started. It was hard for all of us, but was quicker than the first time. So, we all hugged and kissed him, he started walking away and turned to wave at us. We watched until we couldn't see him anymore, then waited to see the plane take off. After the plane left, we went home.
It was harder for me in a way, and easier at the same time. It was harder and easier in that I knew what to expect. Knowing what to expect does make it easier, but at the same time it makes it harder. It is harder because I know what is coming. I know what nights alone feel like. I know what it feels like to worry about him. I know what it feels like to miss him. I know that I am back to leaving my computer on and by my bed at all times. I am back to tracking my phone every minute of every day. So, yeah, knowing what is coming is harder more so than easier. It is hard knowing what you have to deal with for the next 7+ months and knowing that the two weeks you had were blissful, perfect, and now, over.
I start this last part of the deployment with the same attitude I had on day one. I will survive this, I will live through this, and I will do it well. I will make sure that my husband has something to come home to when he comes back for good.
Well, that sucked. Today, I put my husband back on a plane and sent him off to war with a kiss, a hug, and a wave.
We got up this morning and I helped Ian pack the last of his things in his bag. As we were getting ready to go, Ian had to finish a para-cord bracelet for Natalie and while he was doing that, Natalie took one of her stuffed bears and sneaked it into his backpack. When Ian tried to put the last of his stuff in his backpack and found the bear, he was confused. He thought it was put in there by accident, then realized when Natalie looked at him with eyes that were both proud and sad, that she did it on purpose. She wanted Ian to take the bear with him to remind him of her. At first he said he couldn't do it because he didn't have space in his backpack for it, but when I told him that it would mean a lot to her if he took it, he decided he would carry it on the plane, like a pillow. That made Natalie smile so widely, I thought her cheeks would hurt.
After packing all that up, we headed to the airport. The kids were pretty calm on the drive, as was I, mostly because I was driving, so I had to be. When we got to the airport, we asked if they would let us back with him to the gate to say bye. They gave the kids and I passes to get through security, but not on the plane. So, we sat there for about 40 minutes with Ian before he had to start boarding the plane. It was hard, because the kids didn't seem to notice what was really about to happen and they sat their watching TV like it was an ordinary day. Once they started to call for the plan to be boarded, the kids realized Ian was leaving, and they crying started. It was hard for all of us, but was quicker than the first time. So, we all hugged and kissed him, he started walking away and turned to wave at us. We watched until we couldn't see him anymore, then waited to see the plane take off. After the plane left, we went home.
It was harder for me in a way, and easier at the same time. It was harder and easier in that I knew what to expect. Knowing what to expect does make it easier, but at the same time it makes it harder. It is harder because I know what is coming. I know what nights alone feel like. I know what it feels like to worry about him. I know what it feels like to miss him. I know that I am back to leaving my computer on and by my bed at all times. I am back to tracking my phone every minute of every day. So, yeah, knowing what is coming is harder more so than easier. It is hard knowing what you have to deal with for the next 7+ months and knowing that the two weeks you had were blissful, perfect, and now, over.
I start this last part of the deployment with the same attitude I had on day one. I will survive this, I will live through this, and I will do it well. I will make sure that my husband has something to come home to when he comes back for good.
Day 147: The Day Before....
11/16/2011
Today is it, the last day before he goes back. It has been a good but busy day. We had a lot left to do and we were determined to do it all together. We took the kids to Chuck E Cheeses for lunch. After lunch, we had a lot of shopping to do both for him and the kids. We got all that done, then Ian had to get his hair cut before he went back. After that we did one last grocery shopping trip to get everything for dinner tonight. I told Ian I would make whatever he wanted, and he chose my meatloaf. It turned out really good, and we enjoyed the meal together.
I couldn't help it... All I could think about all day was that Ian is leaving tomorrow, and I still have way too long to do without him. I tried to not focus on it so I could enjoy our last night together, but it wasn't easy. At the end of the night, we just laid in bed, holding each other, crying. All we could do was say "I love you" and "I am really going miss you" to each other. It was hard, but we both knew we would be okay and we would make it through this together and stronger than ever. He knows now that I can do this and I can make it until he comes home again. I know that I am still a part of his life, even while he is over there, and that we will talk about everything we can. Our marriage is strong enough to withstand this separation, and will only get stronger from it.
Today is it, the last day before he goes back. It has been a good but busy day. We had a lot left to do and we were determined to do it all together. We took the kids to Chuck E Cheeses for lunch. After lunch, we had a lot of shopping to do both for him and the kids. We got all that done, then Ian had to get his hair cut before he went back. After that we did one last grocery shopping trip to get everything for dinner tonight. I told Ian I would make whatever he wanted, and he chose my meatloaf. It turned out really good, and we enjoyed the meal together.
I couldn't help it... All I could think about all day was that Ian is leaving tomorrow, and I still have way too long to do without him. I tried to not focus on it so I could enjoy our last night together, but it wasn't easy. At the end of the night, we just laid in bed, holding each other, crying. All we could do was say "I love you" and "I am really going miss you" to each other. It was hard, but we both knew we would be okay and we would make it through this together and stronger than ever. He knows now that I can do this and I can make it until he comes home again. I know that I am still a part of his life, even while he is over there, and that we will talk about everything we can. Our marriage is strong enough to withstand this separation, and will only get stronger from it.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Day 146: Genuine Offers
11/15/2011
Today really was a great day as well. Ian and I spent the night at a hotel, just the two of us. We got up this morning on our own and had breakfast together. After we had breakfast we just got to relax and enjoy the quiet. We checked out of the hotel and did some shopping for work clothes for me to pass time before meeting some old friends of Ian's for lunch. It was a great lunch and was good to catch up. They are great people and genuinely care about Ian, my family, and me. They asked questions about when he was leaving and what Ian and I needed prayer about. They offered to help me if I needed anything, and it was a genuine offer to help. Not one of those "Call me if you need me" but they are only saying it because it is the socially acceptable thing to do. They really do want to help and care about us enough to follow through with it.
It is hard sometimes to know what offers are genuine and what are not. Most of the time, it is when you take someone up on their offer that you realize if it is genuine or not. I have also found from personal experience that there are some people who will help you if you ask for it (and sometimes will only do it because they "have to") and there are those that care enough to call you or shoot you a text asking how you are doing. Those are the friends worth their weight in gold. They are the ones that care about you no matter what and want to be there for you in times of good and in times of crisis. These are the friends that I care about in the same way and try to be there for them just as much or more than they are for me. I have a few of these good friends here and a few others that are miles away but always willing to talk. These I am closer to than even some family members. It hurts to say that because I thought all of my family, blood or marriage, would be there for me and would allow me to be in their lives, especially during Ian's absence. The opposite has happened, and I wish I could change it, but I can't. For now, I am going back to what I said a few months ago, I am focusing on the family and friends that care and allowing them to show my kids they have support outside of just mommy. I am also allowing myself to be supported by them.... which isn't something I am accustomed to.
Today really was a great day as well. Ian and I spent the night at a hotel, just the two of us. We got up this morning on our own and had breakfast together. After we had breakfast we just got to relax and enjoy the quiet. We checked out of the hotel and did some shopping for work clothes for me to pass time before meeting some old friends of Ian's for lunch. It was a great lunch and was good to catch up. They are great people and genuinely care about Ian, my family, and me. They asked questions about when he was leaving and what Ian and I needed prayer about. They offered to help me if I needed anything, and it was a genuine offer to help. Not one of those "Call me if you need me" but they are only saying it because it is the socially acceptable thing to do. They really do want to help and care about us enough to follow through with it.
It is hard sometimes to know what offers are genuine and what are not. Most of the time, it is when you take someone up on their offer that you realize if it is genuine or not. I have also found from personal experience that there are some people who will help you if you ask for it (and sometimes will only do it because they "have to") and there are those that care enough to call you or shoot you a text asking how you are doing. Those are the friends worth their weight in gold. They are the ones that care about you no matter what and want to be there for you in times of good and in times of crisis. These are the friends that I care about in the same way and try to be there for them just as much or more than they are for me. I have a few of these good friends here and a few others that are miles away but always willing to talk. These I am closer to than even some family members. It hurts to say that because I thought all of my family, blood or marriage, would be there for me and would allow me to be in their lives, especially during Ian's absence. The opposite has happened, and I wish I could change it, but I can't. For now, I am going back to what I said a few months ago, I am focusing on the family and friends that care and allowing them to show my kids they have support outside of just mommy. I am also allowing myself to be supported by them.... which isn't something I am accustomed to.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Day 145: Night away
11/14/2011
So, today was awesome. We went out this morning and did a little more shopping for packages for Ian's team and then mailed it all off at the post office. After that, we went shopping for a dress for me to wear on our date tonight. Ian had fun shopping with me and helping me pick out what I would wear tonight. After shopping, we got the kids some lunch then took them to my awesome friend, Susan's, house for the night. She so kindly agreed to take the kids for the night so Ian and I could spend the night at a hotel in the big city and go to a super nice restaurant... You know, the kind with no kid's menu.
After we dropped off the kids, drove to the hotel and got checked in. We spent some time together before we had to go for our dinner reservations. Then, we both got ready and I loved seeing the look on his face when I put my dress on with my hair and makeup done. It was awesome. The look on his face was the whole reason I got all dressed up tonight. He looked insanely good too. He wore a pair of khaki slacks, a blue shirt, and a tie. He looked GOOD!
So, we went to dinner together and had a great time. We ate slowly and just savored the food and our time together. After dinner, the waiter came and told Ian that dessert was on them and asked what he wanted. Ian wasn't sure why they did that, but I knew and did not tell him. See, when I made the reservations, I told them that Ian was home from Afghanistan for R&R and that it was our one special date night and to please help me make it as special and romantic as possible. I thought that is why they seated us away from the majority of the diners, and I did not expect them to give him dessert. We told them what we wanted and when they came back out, they asked him where he was coming from. He was confused and said the post we are currently stationed at. It confused the guy a little, but he said, welcome back to Ian anyways. Then when he set down the plate, "Welcome Back" was written on it in raspberry sauce. I then told the waiter that he was home from Afghanistan and that cleared it up for him. Ian then looked at me and I told him that I told the restaurant that he was home on R&R. Ian then gave my that "You little stinker" look and told the waiter thank you again for the dessert.
It really was a memorable night and we really enjoyed ourselves. We truthfully have not been alone overnight for quite a while, so it has been a great getaway.
So, today was awesome. We went out this morning and did a little more shopping for packages for Ian's team and then mailed it all off at the post office. After that, we went shopping for a dress for me to wear on our date tonight. Ian had fun shopping with me and helping me pick out what I would wear tonight. After shopping, we got the kids some lunch then took them to my awesome friend, Susan's, house for the night. She so kindly agreed to take the kids for the night so Ian and I could spend the night at a hotel in the big city and go to a super nice restaurant... You know, the kind with no kid's menu.
After we dropped off the kids, drove to the hotel and got checked in. We spent some time together before we had to go for our dinner reservations. Then, we both got ready and I loved seeing the look on his face when I put my dress on with my hair and makeup done. It was awesome. The look on his face was the whole reason I got all dressed up tonight. He looked insanely good too. He wore a pair of khaki slacks, a blue shirt, and a tie. He looked GOOD!
So, we went to dinner together and had a great time. We ate slowly and just savored the food and our time together. After dinner, the waiter came and told Ian that dessert was on them and asked what he wanted. Ian wasn't sure why they did that, but I knew and did not tell him. See, when I made the reservations, I told them that Ian was home from Afghanistan for R&R and that it was our one special date night and to please help me make it as special and romantic as possible. I thought that is why they seated us away from the majority of the diners, and I did not expect them to give him dessert. We told them what we wanted and when they came back out, they asked him where he was coming from. He was confused and said the post we are currently stationed at. It confused the guy a little, but he said, welcome back to Ian anyways. Then when he set down the plate, "Welcome Back" was written on it in raspberry sauce. I then told the waiter that he was home from Afghanistan and that cleared it up for him. Ian then looked at me and I told him that I told the restaurant that he was home on R&R. Ian then gave my that "You little stinker" look and told the waiter thank you again for the dessert.
It really was a memorable night and we really enjoyed ourselves. We truthfully have not been alone overnight for quite a while, so it has been a great getaway.
Day 144: Celebrating with Daddy
11/13/2011
This morning we went to church as a family for the last time until Ian comes home for good. It was a little sad, but again, I tried not to dwell on it. After church, we took the kids roller skating at the skate rink. I couldn't hack it in their skates because they hurt my feet, so after about 30 min I tapped out and just watched. Ian and the girls seemed to have a blast and skated almost the whole time they were there. Daniel wasn't as interested after the first 20 minutes, but would go out and skate in spurts. About halfway through, Daniel decided he did not want to skate anymore and tried to turn in his skates. I tried to get him to go back out with Ian and skate, and he told me that he will next time we come. I then reminded him that daddy is leaving this week, so this is the last day we have to skate with him. Daniel then told me that he knew that, but that daddy would just go to work and come back at night, like normal. That was hard for me because that is when I realized that he did not understand that Ian was heading back for Afghanistan. So, I sat down with him and explained it again. He cried a little, but mostly got a pouty face and then decided to go skate with daddy some more.
Skating was the kids "birthday" celebration with Ian. On our way home, we went to the commissary and got stuff to make dinner, and also let the kids pick out their own individual cakes for their birthday celebration. So, we came home and made dinner. After dinner, the kids each got their cakes out and we put a candle on them and we all sang "Happy Birthday" one by one. After they were all done, each kid got to take a huge bite out of their cakes and got to eat half of it. The idea is that since Ian will be (or has in Emily's case) missing the kids' birthdays, we would celebrate a little with Ian home. We were hoping to do one a day and spread them out over the 2 weeks, but time just slipped away from us. The kids didn't mind, and I think it actually turned out to be more fun this way because they each got their own individual cake to dig into.
On this kids' actual birthdays, Ian will still call like he did with Emily's (if he is available) and will still send them a little gift from just him. We just wanted a way for the kids to enjoy it with him physically here, and they did.
This morning we went to church as a family for the last time until Ian comes home for good. It was a little sad, but again, I tried not to dwell on it. After church, we took the kids roller skating at the skate rink. I couldn't hack it in their skates because they hurt my feet, so after about 30 min I tapped out and just watched. Ian and the girls seemed to have a blast and skated almost the whole time they were there. Daniel wasn't as interested after the first 20 minutes, but would go out and skate in spurts. About halfway through, Daniel decided he did not want to skate anymore and tried to turn in his skates. I tried to get him to go back out with Ian and skate, and he told me that he will next time we come. I then reminded him that daddy is leaving this week, so this is the last day we have to skate with him. Daniel then told me that he knew that, but that daddy would just go to work and come back at night, like normal. That was hard for me because that is when I realized that he did not understand that Ian was heading back for Afghanistan. So, I sat down with him and explained it again. He cried a little, but mostly got a pouty face and then decided to go skate with daddy some more.
Skating was the kids "birthday" celebration with Ian. On our way home, we went to the commissary and got stuff to make dinner, and also let the kids pick out their own individual cakes for their birthday celebration. So, we came home and made dinner. After dinner, the kids each got their cakes out and we put a candle on them and we all sang "Happy Birthday" one by one. After they were all done, each kid got to take a huge bite out of their cakes and got to eat half of it. The idea is that since Ian will be (or has in Emily's case) missing the kids' birthdays, we would celebrate a little with Ian home. We were hoping to do one a day and spread them out over the 2 weeks, but time just slipped away from us. The kids didn't mind, and I think it actually turned out to be more fun this way because they each got their own individual cake to dig into.
On this kids' actual birthdays, Ian will still call like he did with Emily's (if he is available) and will still send them a little gift from just him. We just wanted a way for the kids to enjoy it with him physically here, and they did.
Day 143: Movie Day
11/12/2011
Today was just a hang out kind of day. We did some running around for stuff to send back to Afghanistan for Ian's team and then took the kids to see a movie. It was a free movie because it was an advanced, customer appreciation screening of Happy Feet 2. The kids really liked it and just loved sitting with Ian mostly. After the movie, we went home, had dinner, and played video games with the kids on our Wii. The best part was that they (well, I initiated it) got Ian to dance on a video game to a few "girly" songs. It was hilarious and, of course, I had to get it on video.
After we put the kids to bed, I decided to take Ian out to a movie. It wasn't my normal movie type, but I knew he wanted to see it, so we went. It was "Immortals" and it really wasn't that bad for me. Ian didn't like it as much as I thought he would, but that is because he knows a lot about Greek Mythology and it didn't follow it like he thought it should. Given that, he still enjoyed it and we just had fun seeing a movie together, just the two of us.
All in all, a good day spent with the family. The kids enjoyed the time with Ian and then Ian and I had some alone time. I can say that I am not looking forward to the day he goes back. I don't know how I will do, but for now, I am trying really hard not to focus on it.
Today was just a hang out kind of day. We did some running around for stuff to send back to Afghanistan for Ian's team and then took the kids to see a movie. It was a free movie because it was an advanced, customer appreciation screening of Happy Feet 2. The kids really liked it and just loved sitting with Ian mostly. After the movie, we went home, had dinner, and played video games with the kids on our Wii. The best part was that they (well, I initiated it) got Ian to dance on a video game to a few "girly" songs. It was hilarious and, of course, I had to get it on video.
After we put the kids to bed, I decided to take Ian out to a movie. It wasn't my normal movie type, but I knew he wanted to see it, so we went. It was "Immortals" and it really wasn't that bad for me. Ian didn't like it as much as I thought he would, but that is because he knows a lot about Greek Mythology and it didn't follow it like he thought it should. Given that, he still enjoyed it and we just had fun seeing a movie together, just the two of us.
All in all, a good day spent with the family. The kids enjoyed the time with Ian and then Ian and I had some alone time. I can say that I am not looking forward to the day he goes back. I don't know how I will do, but for now, I am trying really hard not to focus on it.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Day 142: Veteran's Day
I was brought up as a kid without having any family who served in the military other than my great-grandfather, as far as I knew. To me, at first, it was a day I got out of school. I never understood the reason for the holiday, but we celebrated it in my household every year. When I was in middle school, I was in band. We would march in the Veteran's Day Parade, and my dad would take us to a ceremony of some sort after the parade. I started to realize then just what Veteran's Day really was. My brother joined the Coast Guard while I was in middle school, and that gave me a personal insight into the military.
Then, I got into high school, and was a part of the ensemble who would play special events, most memorable being Memorial Day and Veteran's Day Ceremonies. It was a moving thing to play for war vets and watch them stand up and salute. I will never forget seeing these men, aged and some were seriously wounded in the line of duty, standing strong in their old uniforms or VFW jackets for the National Anthem and the songs for each branch of the military. Seeing the sense of pride they had for their time of service and for the country they served was an inspiring thing. Then, when we were done playing, THEY would thank US for playing! I would always tell them that we are the ones thanking them for their service, and were proud to be able to play for them.
So, Veteran's Day has been an important day for me since I started paying attention to what it meant. Since I became the wife of a soldier, I can't begin to explain to you how important it is for me now. I have seen first hand the sacrifices made by soldiers and their families for the protection of this great nation. I have seen the hardships that come with the decision to dedicate your life to your country and voluntarily putting your duties before your family for the good of your country. It is not easy, but it is something that we are all proud of. I know that when I thank people who have served or are serving, it always brings a smile to their face. I have been with Ian when someone has come up to him out of nowhere and told him thank you for serving. It makes me tear up a bit to see someone outside the military say that to my husband and makes me just that much prouder to be an American and the wife of a soldier.
No matter what day it is, if you see a veteran, no matter the age or length of service, tell them thank you. You never know if they have never heard it before or just how much better it could make their day. Remember this saying: "A Veteran- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve- is someone who, at one point in his/her life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America' in the amount of 'up to and including his/her own life.'" That is a Veteran, ladies and gentlemen, and they deserve our thanks for all the sacrifices they make on our behalf.
To all the Veterans out there: My family and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts because without your service, we would not be able to enjoy living in the great country and enjoy the freedoms we have. To those families that support their Veteran family members: We thank you as well because without your support, your veteran would not have been able to stand up and fight for our freedoms. Thank you all who have served, are serving, and will serve, you keep America great! God Bless Our Military and God Bless America!
Then, I got into high school, and was a part of the ensemble who would play special events, most memorable being Memorial Day and Veteran's Day Ceremonies. It was a moving thing to play for war vets and watch them stand up and salute. I will never forget seeing these men, aged and some were seriously wounded in the line of duty, standing strong in their old uniforms or VFW jackets for the National Anthem and the songs for each branch of the military. Seeing the sense of pride they had for their time of service and for the country they served was an inspiring thing. Then, when we were done playing, THEY would thank US for playing! I would always tell them that we are the ones thanking them for their service, and were proud to be able to play for them.
So, Veteran's Day has been an important day for me since I started paying attention to what it meant. Since I became the wife of a soldier, I can't begin to explain to you how important it is for me now. I have seen first hand the sacrifices made by soldiers and their families for the protection of this great nation. I have seen the hardships that come with the decision to dedicate your life to your country and voluntarily putting your duties before your family for the good of your country. It is not easy, but it is something that we are all proud of. I know that when I thank people who have served or are serving, it always brings a smile to their face. I have been with Ian when someone has come up to him out of nowhere and told him thank you for serving. It makes me tear up a bit to see someone outside the military say that to my husband and makes me just that much prouder to be an American and the wife of a soldier.
No matter what day it is, if you see a veteran, no matter the age or length of service, tell them thank you. You never know if they have never heard it before or just how much better it could make their day. Remember this saying: "A Veteran- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve- is someone who, at one point in his/her life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America' in the amount of 'up to and including his/her own life.'" That is a Veteran, ladies and gentlemen, and they deserve our thanks for all the sacrifices they make on our behalf.
To all the Veterans out there: My family and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts because without your service, we would not be able to enjoy living in the great country and enjoy the freedoms we have. To those families that support their Veteran family members: We thank you as well because without your support, your veteran would not have been able to stand up and fight for our freedoms. Thank you all who have served, are serving, and will serve, you keep America great! God Bless Our Military and God Bless America!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Day 141: My Big Army Family
There is one thing I can say about the Army. It has given me a bigger extended family than I could have ever hoped for. I have a family even when I am away from my biological family. It is the biggest blessing in this lifestyle. My Army family, made up of soldiers, their wives, parents, and kids, are my support system and I am theirs. It is how we all make it through everything the Army throws at us, deployments, trainings, PCSing (moving), with our sanity still intact.... mostly.
We all get it. We know what it is like to be away from your family, but still needing the support of one. Today, my best friend here was scheduled to have her baby today via c-section. I told her I would help her out but all she could say was that my husband was home and she didn't want to interrupt our time together. I get that, but the problem is, that we are family. We are here for each other no matter what. Ian expected nothing less than for me to be there for my friend. It gave him a chance to spend some one-on-one time with the kids while I helped out a friend. I know my time with Ian right now is limited, but my other family needs me (well us really) too. My husband and I want to be there for this family if we are able, and today we were able. Some people think I am crazy to "waste" a day with my husband, but I don't see it as that. I see it as allowing my husband time to reconnect with the kids without me there to act as the go-between. I also see it as being who I am and showing that to my husband. I am a supporter, I support people. My husband knows that about me and loves me for it. He is the most important man in my life and I would not have gone if he was completely against it, but, again, he agreed that is was important that I went today and encouraged me to go. He called me a few times today to check in and see how things were going, and even came and waited with me for a while, so it wasn't a whole day spent away from him. We were still together throughout the day via either phone or in person. Then, I came home and spent the rest of the evening with him.
I know a lot of people think at the end of this R&R I will regret any time I did not spend with my husband when he was home. I know different. I know that I will be happy for the time we have spent together and will not regret the time I spent helping out one of my best friends while my husband spent time with his own kids. I think what I would regret was not being there for a friend when she needed me.
We all get it. We know what it is like to be away from your family, but still needing the support of one. Today, my best friend here was scheduled to have her baby today via c-section. I told her I would help her out but all she could say was that my husband was home and she didn't want to interrupt our time together. I get that, but the problem is, that we are family. We are here for each other no matter what. Ian expected nothing less than for me to be there for my friend. It gave him a chance to spend some one-on-one time with the kids while I helped out a friend. I know my time with Ian right now is limited, but my other family needs me (well us really) too. My husband and I want to be there for this family if we are able, and today we were able. Some people think I am crazy to "waste" a day with my husband, but I don't see it as that. I see it as allowing my husband time to reconnect with the kids without me there to act as the go-between. I also see it as being who I am and showing that to my husband. I am a supporter, I support people. My husband knows that about me and loves me for it. He is the most important man in my life and I would not have gone if he was completely against it, but, again, he agreed that is was important that I went today and encouraged me to go. He called me a few times today to check in and see how things were going, and even came and waited with me for a while, so it wasn't a whole day spent away from him. We were still together throughout the day via either phone or in person. Then, I came home and spent the rest of the evening with him.
I know a lot of people think at the end of this R&R I will regret any time I did not spend with my husband when he was home. I know different. I know that I will be happy for the time we have spent together and will not regret the time I spent helping out one of my best friends while my husband spent time with his own kids. I think what I would regret was not being there for a friend when she needed me.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Day 140: Trying to reign in the frustration
Today was a pretty good day, but was frustrating for me in that it didn't go as planned. I had the schedule in my head, and it just didn't happen that way. I expected my husband and dad to go and change the oil in my van and my husband's jeep this morning and they said it would take no more than an hour. Well, over 2 hours later, they finally make it back home. We were supposed to go to this drive thru safari that is about 20 min away from us, and I was frustrated now because we were late. The worst part is that I am not very good at hiding that kind of stuff and Ian knew I was frustrated. So, we went off to the safari and had a blast. My frustration quickly vanished when we got there and we were all having a good time feeding the animals. The best part was a camel named Mikey. Ian, the kids, and I were sitting in the bed of the truck with paper bags full of feed pellets as my dad was driving. We were throwing the feed to the other animals when we drove up close to Mikey. He walked right over to our truck, as it was moving, and reached right in and grabbed a full bag of feed right out of Natalie's hands and walked off. It made Natalie so upset for a minute until we gave her another bag and she saw how funny it actually was. Unfortunately, it happened so quickly that I did not get picture or video of it.
I have said this before, but these emotions I am facing are unexpected. I thought it would be a honeymoon time and I would be all happy-go-lucky. Instead, I am having times of frustration, anger, and guilt. I am trying to reign in my frustration and keep it from ruining any time I have left with my husband, but sometimes it is just not that easy. So far, it has only caused issues for a few minutes at a time and not a full day. This is actually an improvement from my norm. I have a tendency to be frustrated/mad most of the day. I guess what I am trying to say is that while, yes, I am having emotional "flare-ups" I have to give myself and Ian a little break and not expect everything to be perfect just because it is R&R.
I have said this before, but these emotions I am facing are unexpected. I thought it would be a honeymoon time and I would be all happy-go-lucky. Instead, I am having times of frustration, anger, and guilt. I am trying to reign in my frustration and keep it from ruining any time I have left with my husband, but sometimes it is just not that easy. So far, it has only caused issues for a few minutes at a time and not a full day. This is actually an improvement from my norm. I have a tendency to be frustrated/mad most of the day. I guess what I am trying to say is that while, yes, I am having emotional "flare-ups" I have to give myself and Ian a little break and not expect everything to be perfect just because it is R&R.
Day 139: Time needs to slow down, just for now....
Today was the first day the kids were out of school. We really didn't have anything planned because Daniel has been sick the whole time Ian has been home. So, we scheduled a doctor's appointment for him and spent the rest of the day with the kids, hanging out around the house. At the appointment, the doctor told us that he is basically having issues with his (undiagnosed) asthma. They can't diagnose him because he isn't old enough to do the test for it, so for now he is classified with Reactive Airway Disease. The doctor said that the wheezing she was hearing was pretty loud and she was pretty sure it is asthma. We have been treating him on our own, but ran out of the medication, so she refilled it and gave us more medications to attack it more aggressively. Hopefully he will be feeling better so we can get out and do more this next week.
It is a little depressing to think that we are just about half way through the R&R. I am trying not to focus on that and focus on the time I do have, but unfortunately, the thoughts tend to sneak up on me when I least expect. It is one of the hardest parts of this whole thing. You have to try and be in the moment and enjoy the time with your soldier, but you know the separation time is looming over your head and you don't want it to come. It is the same as when he was getting ready to deploy, I was enjoying the time with Ian, but his deployment date hung over my head. The only difference is that before the deployment, I had prepared for it as best as I could and knew the sooner it started, the sooner he would come back home, so in a way I was anxious for it to start. While the same can be true for right now, I am nowhere near ready for R&R to be over. While I know time will keep moving, I wish it would stand still for now and give me more time with him. So I am back to square one, knowing that the day I send him off to war again is coming and will be just as hard as day one. The one exception this time is that my support system of friends is a lot more solid than it was on day one and I am working now, which helps keep me busy. I know it will be hard and I will be sad, but I hope that knowing what happened the first day, I will be able to cope with it better.
It is a little depressing to think that we are just about half way through the R&R. I am trying not to focus on that and focus on the time I do have, but unfortunately, the thoughts tend to sneak up on me when I least expect. It is one of the hardest parts of this whole thing. You have to try and be in the moment and enjoy the time with your soldier, but you know the separation time is looming over your head and you don't want it to come. It is the same as when he was getting ready to deploy, I was enjoying the time with Ian, but his deployment date hung over my head. The only difference is that before the deployment, I had prepared for it as best as I could and knew the sooner it started, the sooner he would come back home, so in a way I was anxious for it to start. While the same can be true for right now, I am nowhere near ready for R&R to be over. While I know time will keep moving, I wish it would stand still for now and give me more time with him. So I am back to square one, knowing that the day I send him off to war again is coming and will be just as hard as day one. The one exception this time is that my support system of friends is a lot more solid than it was on day one and I am working now, which helps keep me busy. I know it will be hard and I will be sad, but I hope that knowing what happened the first day, I will be able to cope with it better.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Day 138: Not too quiet for me tonight
Today was a great day with my husband. We sent the kids to school for one more day and Ian and I went golfing. Neither of us have been golfing in a while and didn't do so well. Despite that, we really had fun and enjoyed spending the time together. After golfing we went and had lunch and then picked up the kids. We then went home and enjoyed time together before heading to the movies. The on post theater has $1 movie nights on Sunday and Monday. Usually we don't go because it is a school night, but we decided to keep the kids out of school for the last half of R&R to spend extra time with Ian. So, we went to see "Dolphin Tale" last night. It was a cute movie and the kids really enjoyed it. They spent most of the time wrapped around Ian or sitting on his lap. They really have missed him and enjoyed spending time with him.
So, now here I am, sitting in bed typing. Usually I have to turn on my iPod and have some music playing or have the TV going because it is too quiet in here without Ian. Tonight, Ian is asleep next to me, and the sound of his light snore is comforting and keeps the room from being too quiet. I realized this whole time that he has been gone and I needed the noise substitution, that it wasn't the absence of noise that was the problem, it was the fact that I didn't feel safe and secure when he was gone. I thought the noise I would have on was to drown out the little "house noises" that would make me nervous and keep me up (a little part was), but even with him home, I still hear the noises. It is just that when he is home, they don't bother me because I know he is home and will protect me. Not sure if this is really making sense, but I just feel safer with hearing his snoring next to me. I am so blissfully happy at this moment and am trying not to think about next week.
So, now here I am, sitting in bed typing. Usually I have to turn on my iPod and have some music playing or have the TV going because it is too quiet in here without Ian. Tonight, Ian is asleep next to me, and the sound of his light snore is comforting and keeps the room from being too quiet. I realized this whole time that he has been gone and I needed the noise substitution, that it wasn't the absence of noise that was the problem, it was the fact that I didn't feel safe and secure when he was gone. I thought the noise I would have on was to drown out the little "house noises" that would make me nervous and keep me up (a little part was), but even with him home, I still hear the noises. It is just that when he is home, they don't bother me because I know he is home and will protect me. Not sure if this is really making sense, but I just feel safer with hearing his snoring next to me. I am so blissfully happy at this moment and am trying not to think about next week.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Day 137: Sunday with him next to me
Church was awesome for me today. I was sitting in the chairs with my husband once again at my side. I was able to worship and pray with him again and it felt amazing to have him there with me. It really wasn't anything more that just the fact that our family day was complete again. We all went to church together, ate lunch together, and then just hung out around the house together.
At home, the kids finally got Ian into their epic wrestling match that they have been dying to have. It was actually quite funny the way it happened. Ian and I were in our room, changing out of our church clothes when we hear Daniel starting up the stairs telling his sisters, "I am going to go wrestle with daddy." He knew they would want to wrestle too, and that by just telling them he was going would make them follow right behind him. Sure enough, it worked. They all filed in our room and jumped all over Ian. It was so funny and they all (Ian included) had so much fun. I had fun just watching them.
The kids literally could have gone on and on with the wrestling, but eventually, Ian had to call it quits for the day. The kids made him promise he would wrestle again tomorrow, and Ian agreed, knowing they wouldn't rest unless he promised them more tomorrow. I just sat back and watched the whole thing, laughing and smiling the whole time. Nothing has made me happier than to see Ian with our children again. He loves them so much and he is such a good dad. These two weeks of time are going to mean so much to the kids over the next half of this deployment. It will be a good reminder of what they have to look forward to when this deployment is done.
At home, the kids finally got Ian into their epic wrestling match that they have been dying to have. It was actually quite funny the way it happened. Ian and I were in our room, changing out of our church clothes when we hear Daniel starting up the stairs telling his sisters, "I am going to go wrestle with daddy." He knew they would want to wrestle too, and that by just telling them he was going would make them follow right behind him. Sure enough, it worked. They all filed in our room and jumped all over Ian. It was so funny and they all (Ian included) had so much fun. I had fun just watching them.
The kids literally could have gone on and on with the wrestling, but eventually, Ian had to call it quits for the day. The kids made him promise he would wrestle again tomorrow, and Ian agreed, knowing they wouldn't rest unless he promised them more tomorrow. I just sat back and watched the whole thing, laughing and smiling the whole time. Nothing has made me happier than to see Ian with our children again. He loves them so much and he is such a good dad. These two weeks of time are going to mean so much to the kids over the next half of this deployment. It will be a good reminder of what they have to look forward to when this deployment is done.
Day 136: SeaWorld
We promised the kids before Ian deployed that we would take them to Sea World during R&R. We thought that would be simple and that we could do it sometime next week. Well, we were wrong. Apparently, they are closed during the week and are only open from noon-6pm on the weekends. So, we had to readjust everything and go today. It was literally the only weekend we could do it.
We didn't get as much time in the park as we would have liked, but had a blast all the same. We met my best friend and her kids there and hung out together. Ian really seemed to enjoy himself with all the kids. The best part was before the Shamu show, they said thank you to all military and their families and asked them to stand. I loved watching Ian stand there with pride as I stood beside him and the whole area applauded for all the military members there. Then they put us on the big screen, which we all thought was cool. It brought tears to my eyes to see all those people standing with us that are either serving with us or have served before us, and having everyone else show their gratitude with a loud and extended applause. God Bless America!
We didn't get as much time in the park as we would have liked, but had a blast all the same. We met my best friend and her kids there and hung out together. Ian really seemed to enjoy himself with all the kids. The best part was before the Shamu show, they said thank you to all military and their families and asked them to stand. I loved watching Ian stand there with pride as I stood beside him and the whole area applauded for all the military members there. Then they put us on the big screen, which we all thought was cool. It brought tears to my eyes to see all those people standing with us that are either serving with us or have served before us, and having everyone else show their gratitude with a loud and extended applause. God Bless America!
Day 135: So, breakdowns aren't supposed to happen during R&R
Today was a good day mostly. Ian and I went to have lunch with our oldest at her school. It would have been just him, but he didn't quite want to drive yet and I think he wanted me there with him anyways. Emily loved it and couldn't stop bubbling about the fact that Ian was coming to lunch with her today. Apparently, it was all she talked about at school all morning. After lunch, we ran a few errands and had lunch together. All in all, a good day.
Tonight, on the other hand, was a little rough for me. I can't explain it, not even to myself really. I had a breakdown. I was so upset tonight and couldn't control it. I wasn't mad at Ian and it wasn't directed at him. It was all me. It is so hard to explain, but I guess it was more of feeling guilty for letting Ian do "my job." In my mind, he shouldn't be the one getting up with the kids in the morning. He shouldn't be helping me clean the kitchen. He shouldn't have to deal with the kids' fits or fights. That is all my job. It has been my job for the past 4 months and as much as I want to let him help me again, I also know that in 2 weeks, it starts all over again for me. I will have to resume being mom and dad.
I just couldn't fight all of these feelings, even at a time when I know that my husband is home and I should be happy... I was crying uncontrollably. Ian kept asking and asking, and I really didn't want to tell him what was wrong. As I have written before, that is just not the way we are, so I eventually told him. He understood and told me not to feel guilty because dad (he) is home and I don't have to be dad for a while. He told me that I can let go of that for now and let him resume that role. I told him how hard that was for me, and all he did was hold me and reassure me that it is all okay and that he was happy being back in the middle of things. I just kept trying to explain it in that I felt like I wasn't making R&R restful enough for him. He told me that just being dad again, no matter what work was involved there, was relaxing enough for him. It wasn't like I was making him do the dishes or clean the house, he was wanting to help, so he felt there was no need to my guilt. The last thing he told me, which really helped me out, was that R&R for him is not a vacation from life or everyday things, it is a break from the stresses of war. For him it isn't about sitting around doing nothing for 2 weeks or being on a constant vacation, it is about spending time with his family and being dad again, even if it is only for 2 weeks. The purpose of R&R is a break from the war, not from life... My husband, such an amazing man. I could not ask for more.
These feelings were so unexpected. I thought that throughout R&R, we would be nothing but blissfully happy and I would feel complete again, the Army's version of a honeymoon phase. I am feeling those ways mostly, but was not expecting the emotions of tonight. I hope that after getting them all out, it will be done for the time and we can spend the rest of the honeymoon period blissfully happy.... well, here's to hoping.
Tonight, on the other hand, was a little rough for me. I can't explain it, not even to myself really. I had a breakdown. I was so upset tonight and couldn't control it. I wasn't mad at Ian and it wasn't directed at him. It was all me. It is so hard to explain, but I guess it was more of feeling guilty for letting Ian do "my job." In my mind, he shouldn't be the one getting up with the kids in the morning. He shouldn't be helping me clean the kitchen. He shouldn't have to deal with the kids' fits or fights. That is all my job. It has been my job for the past 4 months and as much as I want to let him help me again, I also know that in 2 weeks, it starts all over again for me. I will have to resume being mom and dad.
I just couldn't fight all of these feelings, even at a time when I know that my husband is home and I should be happy... I was crying uncontrollably. Ian kept asking and asking, and I really didn't want to tell him what was wrong. As I have written before, that is just not the way we are, so I eventually told him. He understood and told me not to feel guilty because dad (he) is home and I don't have to be dad for a while. He told me that I can let go of that for now and let him resume that role. I told him how hard that was for me, and all he did was hold me and reassure me that it is all okay and that he was happy being back in the middle of things. I just kept trying to explain it in that I felt like I wasn't making R&R restful enough for him. He told me that just being dad again, no matter what work was involved there, was relaxing enough for him. It wasn't like I was making him do the dishes or clean the house, he was wanting to help, so he felt there was no need to my guilt. The last thing he told me, which really helped me out, was that R&R for him is not a vacation from life or everyday things, it is a break from the stresses of war. For him it isn't about sitting around doing nothing for 2 weeks or being on a constant vacation, it is about spending time with his family and being dad again, even if it is only for 2 weeks. The purpose of R&R is a break from the war, not from life... My husband, such an amazing man. I could not ask for more.
These feelings were so unexpected. I thought that throughout R&R, we would be nothing but blissfully happy and I would feel complete again, the Army's version of a honeymoon phase. I am feeling those ways mostly, but was not expecting the emotions of tonight. I hope that after getting them all out, it will be done for the time and we can spend the rest of the honeymoon period blissfully happy.... well, here's to hoping.
Day 134: Day 3 of R&R
Can't really write much about today. I am just insanely happy with everything that is going on. My husband is doing well adjusting to the kids and me. He is rested and wanting to participate. He even went to the younger kids' school today to have lunch with them and help out in each of their classrooms for a little bit. He truly enjoyed it. I let him have his time with just the kids at school but reclaimed him as soon as he was done. Other than that time, we have been inseparable. I have loved every minute of it and have realized just how much I have missed him and how much I love this man.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Day 133: Having my best friend back
Today has been a pretty awesome day. Ian and I spent every minute together. We had lunch, talked and did a little shopping too. I couldn't help but think all day that I love having my best friend back. We gave my dad a break, and Ian and I went to pick the kids up from school. After we picked up the kids, we took them to the park to play and just enjoyed watching them play. We then went home and hung out as a family. It was nice just to be there in his arms, watching TV with the kids.
So, yesterday was quite the homecoming. To be honest, I screwed up hard. I got to the airport about 10 minutes before Ian's plane was supposed to land. I figured he would take a few min to get off the plane. Apparently, his plane landed EARLY! I got there, parked and started walking to the entrance, and there was Ian, smiling and waving at me. I was so happy to see him and so mad at myself for being late. Ian didn't care, because what mattered was that I was there and we were reunited. I cried and held him for forever it seemed just telling him that I was sorry I was late, that I loved him so much, and I have missed him. Yes, we were standing in the middle of the parking lot, hugging and kissing with me crying like a fool. My friend Lyssa was there with me to take pictures and after Ian and I were done with our hellos he said hi to her and we started in our way back. My dad pulled in about that time surprised to see Ian already out. He gave Ian a quick hug and then we had to get going to pick up the kids from school.
At school we picked up Daniel first and his face was shocked. He ran to Ian and held him around his neck so tight and was grinning from ear to ear. Then, after a few minutes he introduced Ian to his teacher.
Next came Natalie. We had to wait in line for her to come down the stairs. There were a ton of kids and parents but Natalie did what she always did, she started looking for me. Then, she saw Ian and her face was so shocked. She started covering her mouth and wanted to run to Ian, but didn't want to get in trouble for getting out of line so she asked her teacher's permission and then flew into Ian's arms, crying. They stood there for a good 3-4 minutes just hugging and crying. Then, Natalie introduced her daddy to her teacher. It was great.
Then we went home to wait for Emily to come home. My dad had to go pick her up from choir practice. Ian was standing in the dining room waiting for her to round the corner. It took a good minute for her to look towards me and see Ian standing there next to me. Before that, she was facing the kitchen talking away. Once she saw him, though, she screamed, "Daddy?" and ran full speed into his arms. She cried too and held onto him with all her strength.
All the kids were so happy to have their daddy home and their reactions showed that. Since then they have been glued to his side and argue over who will sit next to him at dinner. I am now fish food, and Ian is the main event. Which is definitely something I am okay with.
So, yesterday was quite the homecoming. To be honest, I screwed up hard. I got to the airport about 10 minutes before Ian's plane was supposed to land. I figured he would take a few min to get off the plane. Apparently, his plane landed EARLY! I got there, parked and started walking to the entrance, and there was Ian, smiling and waving at me. I was so happy to see him and so mad at myself for being late. Ian didn't care, because what mattered was that I was there and we were reunited. I cried and held him for forever it seemed just telling him that I was sorry I was late, that I loved him so much, and I have missed him. Yes, we were standing in the middle of the parking lot, hugging and kissing with me crying like a fool. My friend Lyssa was there with me to take pictures and after Ian and I were done with our hellos he said hi to her and we started in our way back. My dad pulled in about that time surprised to see Ian already out. He gave Ian a quick hug and then we had to get going to pick up the kids from school.
At school we picked up Daniel first and his face was shocked. He ran to Ian and held him around his neck so tight and was grinning from ear to ear. Then, after a few minutes he introduced Ian to his teacher.
Next came Natalie. We had to wait in line for her to come down the stairs. There were a ton of kids and parents but Natalie did what she always did, she started looking for me. Then, she saw Ian and her face was so shocked. She started covering her mouth and wanted to run to Ian, but didn't want to get in trouble for getting out of line so she asked her teacher's permission and then flew into Ian's arms, crying. They stood there for a good 3-4 minutes just hugging and crying. Then, Natalie introduced her daddy to her teacher. It was great.
Then we went home to wait for Emily to come home. My dad had to go pick her up from choir practice. Ian was standing in the dining room waiting for her to round the corner. It took a good minute for her to look towards me and see Ian standing there next to me. Before that, she was facing the kitchen talking away. Once she saw him, though, she screamed, "Daddy?" and ran full speed into his arms. She cried too and held onto him with all her strength.
All the kids were so happy to have their daddy home and their reactions showed that. Since then they have been glued to his side and argue over who will sit next to him at dinner. I am now fish food, and Ian is the main event. Which is definitely something I am okay with.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Day 132: HE IS HOME!!!!
That is all for now! He is home safe in my arms. He is so tired. As I was finishing up a website for my credential class, he fell asleep and I have been happily sitting here in bed listening to him snore. Oh how I have missed that. I will write tomorrow about how we surprised the kids and how they reacted. For now, GOODNIGHT!
Home at last! This is us at the airport! Holding my man!
Day 131: Halloween
Today has been a busy day. I have been running errands, watching kids, running my dad to urgent care, and cleaning up the house all day today. After I picked up the kids from school, and an early out I might add, we came home and decided to make signs for Ian's R&R homecoming. The kids kept asking me when he is coming and I kept playing dumb. I told them that he will be here in the next few days, but that I didn't know for sure. Truth is, I know. He is coming tomorrow afternoon, hopefully before the kids get out of school. We are planning to surprise them a little bit, but it all depends on if I can keep it from them.
After our sign making, the kids and I did a quick clean-up of the house again, had pizza for dinner, and then went out trick-or-treating with my awesome friend, Lyssa and her family. We were all a little bummed that Ian was missing out on this by just one day, but we still tried to have fun regardless. And it really was a blast. The kids got so much candy and there is NO WAY they are going to eat it all. Not that they can't, just that mommy won't let them.
Bonus for me this year is that Emily's school is a part of a program called "Treats for Troops." Basically, the kids are encouraged to send in their trick-or-treating candy to the school, and the company sponsoring it is going to pay to ship it to troops overseas! I was stoked when I saw that, because it is exactly what I did every year up till now, well, in a way. Every year, I would let the kids have a few pieces a night for about a week or two, then send the rest to work with Ian to pass out to the single soldiers who didn't have kids who had candy bags to raid. This way, the kids didn't get a lot of candy, and I didn't have it around the house tempting Ian or me to eat it. It was a win-win. This year, I couldn't do that, so I was worried about where all the excess candy was going to go. When Emily brought home the flier, I asked her and the kids if that was something they wanted to do. They all very excitedly agreed to it, and I am more the willing to support them in their decision. So, if any of my friends who read this are in the area and want to get rid of some of your kids' Halloween candy, let me know and I will send it in to Emily's school.
I am so excited that Ian is coming home tomorrow. I won't know what time until he lands in the states, but that is ok with me. I will be ready!
After our sign making, the kids and I did a quick clean-up of the house again, had pizza for dinner, and then went out trick-or-treating with my awesome friend, Lyssa and her family. We were all a little bummed that Ian was missing out on this by just one day, but we still tried to have fun regardless. And it really was a blast. The kids got so much candy and there is NO WAY they are going to eat it all. Not that they can't, just that mommy won't let them.
Bonus for me this year is that Emily's school is a part of a program called "Treats for Troops." Basically, the kids are encouraged to send in their trick-or-treating candy to the school, and the company sponsoring it is going to pay to ship it to troops overseas! I was stoked when I saw that, because it is exactly what I did every year up till now, well, in a way. Every year, I would let the kids have a few pieces a night for about a week or two, then send the rest to work with Ian to pass out to the single soldiers who didn't have kids who had candy bags to raid. This way, the kids didn't get a lot of candy, and I didn't have it around the house tempting Ian or me to eat it. It was a win-win. This year, I couldn't do that, so I was worried about where all the excess candy was going to go. When Emily brought home the flier, I asked her and the kids if that was something they wanted to do. They all very excitedly agreed to it, and I am more the willing to support them in their decision. So, if any of my friends who read this are in the area and want to get rid of some of your kids' Halloween candy, let me know and I will send it in to Emily's school.
I am so excited that Ian is coming home tomorrow. I won't know what time until he lands in the states, but that is ok with me. I will be ready!
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