So, it hasn't even been a week since my husband left to go back downrange and it feels like it has been a month. He left exactly a week before Thanksgiving, and it really helped the holiday sneak up on me. I am just not in the mood for this holiday, and really wouldn't care if I celebrated it or not. If it weren't for one of my best friends, Lyssa, inviting my kids and me over for dinner, I don't know if I really would have put in the effort. I know it is important for my kids to keep things normal and still celebrate the holidays with them, but it is hard because the separation is still so "new" again. I am sure I would have done something with my kids, like maybe go to the DFAC (dining facility) on post, to have a Thanksgiving meal, anything to say that we celebrated without having to really put effort into a holiday I don't want to face without my husband. We have celebrated holidays apart before, but the beauty of military lifestyle is that I have never been alone. This year is no different. I am not alone this year, but I guess because of my job and Ian coming home, I have not seen many of my friends in weeks and I feel a little apart from them. Plus the fact that he just left makes it just that much harder.
I am still thankful for the holiday and thankful for all that I have. I am thankful that my husband is safe over there and thankful that our love is still going strong. I am thankful for my family and my friends who stay by me through it all and support my husband, kids, and me. I am thankful for my kids who give me a reason to keep going when all I want to do is curl into a ball. Just because I am not in the mood for the holiday doesn't mean I am not thankful for this life I have, I am, but I am just not feeling celebratory at this very moment.
Another day done, another day closer to seeing him.
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