Today was the first day of school that we had to get through without my dad. Sure enough, it was rough. I was so close to being late. I was frustrated trying to push them out the door. Luckily, everyone made it to school on time and alive. I was composed before the bell rang and ready to start another work week.
After school, I grabbed the kids and headed off to run an errand to get some paperwork for my credential. It was faster than anticipated and we got home well before dinner and were able to spend time just hanging out and doing homework. Ian also called us tonight and we got to talk to him for a little bit. The kids told him about their day and he told them about his day. It wasn't a long conversation, but it was still what the kids, Ian, and myself needed. After that, I got the kids ready for bed and have been enjoying some quiet time.
I am back to staying up late. I have found that I need the alone time and the only time I can get it is after the kids go to bed. So, I stay up late. I am staying up later without Ian because he has a tendency to push me to bed and I don't mind it because I am with him. Being alone in bed seems to make it harder. Before R&R it was getting better, but fr some reason R&R seems to me Reset and Restart. I feel like I am starting this deployment over again with the date of reunion so far away. I know it is just a trick of the mind and that it is the blues talking, but I can't help but feel this way. I miss him. I know I will power through this and make it through, but right now it is a bumpy road. I hope it smooths out soon and I will pray as hard as I can for God to help me get to that smooth part. Then again, I wouldn't be who I am without these rough patches in my life, right?
So, that is my frame of mind right now. I know it is rough, but I will get through it and I know it will get easier. I will keep strong and keep my faith in God and allow Him to walk me through this. One day at a time, one step at a time... Until he is in my arms again.
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