Day 231: My second goal

Last night when I posted about my goals last night, I stated what my first goal was but did not tell about my other goal that is a deployment-long goal as well. I have tried very hard throughout this deployment to ensure that my husband knows that he is needed as the head of our family. I also want to make sure he knows that no matter how far away he is, he still sits at the head of the household and still makes decisions about everything possible that has to do with our family.

So far we are doing well with it. Ian and I talk about finances every month, at least twice a month. Anything major I do is brought up with him if time permits and he helps make decisions with me. He talks to the kids about their behavior and gives them praises as warranted. He talks me through fixing things around the house and gives me advice on dealing with the stresses of the day. He reminds me that the oil needs to be changed on the van and when I need to drive his Jeep.

The main goal I have realized that comes from all this is that I have is to make sure my husband knows when he comes home that he is needed and his presence in our home makes all the difference in our lives. I want to make sure that when he does come home he does not think that there is no room for him anymore. So many times, I have heard wives of deployed soldiers say that they don't think they can give the responsibilities they have taken over back to their husbands. It is not a helpful way to think and does not help the reintegration of the soldier. That is why I am most adamant about not taking everything over completely and making sure that I share everything I can with my husband. It will make it easier for both of us to resume our roles when he comes home. He can take back over his normal duties and I can lean on him again as the head of the house. I hope it will make reintegration easier on him, which is something I really want to do for him.