I had to laugh when I saw this picture floating around on Facebook. It is quite true in most aspects. Those friends who are not military wives (or past military wives) think I sit around waiting for letters. I do wait for letters and phone calls, but I do more than just that. The part about "what my mom or mother-in-law thinks I do," well, that can be applied to what a lot of people think. A lot of people think we military wives just sit around and do nothing all day. There may be a few who sit around, but not all military wives do. I am definitely not one of those. The one showing the women from the Army Wives show saying this is what society thinks we do is pretty funny because it hit the mark. That show is what society sees military wives doing and they take it for reality. The one about what my husband thinks I do is a bit of an exaggeration for me. My husband knows and understands what I do and knows that I am happy, despite the separation. The one that shows what I think I do is pretty funny. I think in our heads we try and glamorize it to help us get through. We live for those reunions and the time we have with our soldiers. What we really do... now that was funny. The woman in that picture is doing exactly what I know I do and have done. She has a phone in one hand, a duster in the other. The kid is on her leg crying and the vacuum is just waiting to be used.... Best part is that she is losing her mind.... Something I can definitely relate to.
I just thought it was a funny picture about the perceptions and assumptions people make about the group I am a part of. Some are true and some are not. Main thing is that every single person is different, even if they are in the same group of people. I have had people, who have only spent a few days with me in the past 7 years, judge me and call me a horrible wife and mother, not caring that those days they spent with me were some of the most stressful and difficult days of my life because of all that I was doing. Yet, to this day, many years later, they still think I am a horrible wife and mother, though I have always been a faithful, devoted wife to my husband and loving, devoted mother to my children. It is just hard to be judged by people who are supposed to know you but really don't, but also hard to be judged by people based on how they have seen other military wives act and they assume I am the same way.
There is kind of a moral to this picture. While it is funny, it also shows that you can't judge someone based off of the group they are a part of or your own perceptions of that group. Get to know them and you might just learn something about their life. Don't judge, because no one is perfect, not even you, but if you see there is an issue with someone, you might just be the one person that can help them. All you have to do is ask how they are and show a genuine concern for them. They may just open up to you and you might learn a thing or two about them. In my case people who judged me would have learned that the time they spent with me was stressful and tiring, and I was bordering on depression. At that time, I asked my husband to take care of our children for the weekend (something that he willingly did) so I could have a few days to just relax in before starting back up with classes and work. It may have looked like I wasn't being a mom, but that was just a few days that they saw. A few days where my kids were well taken care of by their dad primarily and myself as well. I didn't check myself out, I just stepped back and my husband was man enough to step in and help his wife and take care of his family. I know this turned into a bit of a rant, but I know that a judgement hurt me, and it can really hurt other people. So, watch your assumptions and judgements... they more than likely are WAY off.
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