Day 245: Worried

Today, I did it. Today I turned in my resume packet to the principal of the school I have been working for. It took me a while to get it done because I was waiting on some reference letters and also, I just couldn't find a way to write my resume and cover letter. I was freaking out because one stupid piece of paper can mean the difference between getting a job, or not. It was too much pressure on that one piece of paper and I was having the worst writers block in my life. Now, though, it is done. I have turned it in and just have to wait and see if I get a job for next year.

Unfortunately, I worry. It is my nature. Something that God is working on me with, but still a huge problem for me. My main concern is that if I can't get a job, then I can't do my internship. If I can't do my internship, I can't finish my certification. If I don't get fully certified, I can't support the family when it comes time for Ian to get out of the Army. I know, pessimist. It is who I am. I have tried to change it, but have failed. I am better than I used to be. I know things will work out as they are supposed to and that God has a plan. My thing is that I want to know what that plan is, now. That, my friends, is not how He works. He doesn't show us His plan, but asks that we trust in Him. Again, something I am still trying to work on and God keeps showing me that I need to work harder. So, here is my attempt. I have turned in my resume packet to the school I would like to work for. I am going to have more resume packets readily available in case another school is interested in hiring me too. I am going to turn in a hard copy to the district to put with my application and hope that helps a little. Then, I will have to wait and see. I will try not to worry, though I know that is impossible for me, but I will not let the worry rule over me and consume every part of me. I will just try as hard as I can and hope for the best.

Here is to hoping that I can get a job next year and set my family up for the future. For now, though, our immediate future is my husband coming home... and time is going.