Day 264: This is why I don't read the news

03/10/2012

I hate to say it, but I am so disconnected from the world it isn't funny. The only way I learn about something is if I see it on Facebook or happen to hear it on the radio if/when I am in the car. I don't read the news, I don't have cable so I don't watch it on TV, and I don't read it online either.

Today, though, I saw it. I took the kids to breakfast since it is the first day of spring break and as we were walking by, I saw the newspaper stand. In the window was the front page of the local paper and the USA Today paper. The headline was about the soldier that went and killed 16 civilians in Afghanistan. It did what it was supposed to do, it caught my attention. So, I looked it up online and felt sick to my stomach. I hadn't heard from Ian in a while when I read it and it made me nervous just because I knew it was going to make it that much harder for all the soldiers over there, my husband included. Then I saw the article about how the Taliban vow revenge, now I was even more sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe that a soldier was capable of this, but then again, I don't know what was going on in his head. All I know is that he has been deployed several times, so a severe form of PTSD could be a factor, but again, I don't know. I know that it is a deplorable act and it makes me very sad for the people of Afghanistan. They trust our soldiers with their lives, and one soldier betrayed that trust. Unfortunately, though one soldier does not represent the rest of them, to the rest of the world and especially to Afghanistan, he does. The trust is broken and I don't know how we will repair it. I can only pray for the safety of my husband and all the soldiers over there. I am also saying a prayer for the wife and children of that soldier, I can only imagine what they are going through.

My imagination ran wild for a little bit today because it had been some time since I have heard from him. He called me later this evening and I was relieved. When he asked what was wrong, I told him what I read on the news and he told me he understood my concern. He told me not to worry (fat chance of that) and told me that he will be okay and will take care of himself and his soldiers. I know worrying won't change anything, so all I can really do is pray. And that is all I have been doing all day long.

I know it isn't the best plan, to seal yourself off from the world, but it works for me. My imagination already has a ton of fuel, it doesn't need more. I have learned though that even when stuff does get brought to my attention, I have to try and keep calm. At least, I am not shutting down, and I am not obsessed with every piece of news I see. I deal with it the best I can, and so far, I am doing okay.