Tonight I received some sad news which I am not able to fully share right now, but it has hit me harder than I expected. It made tonight a lot harder than it initially should/would have been. With this news, I cried. I cried for the family that is dealing with this tragedy, I cried for the loss of such a remarkable human being, and I cried for myself and my husband. I wanted nothing more tonight than to hold my husband and tell him how much I love him, but I couldn't. I sat here, alone in my house crying, waiting for his call. When the call came it was too short to be able to talk to him about it and tell him what was wrong with me. It isn't something that would affect him because he doesn't know the family, but it affects me, so I know it will affect him a little. I will have more of a chance to talk to him tomorrow morning about it all. So, tonight, I am going to have to push through it and keep my prayers going for the family. I will have to settle with holding Ian's picture, knowing I just talked to him, in place of holding him. I know we are getting close, but when something like this happens, it makes the time we have left seem like an eternity. I want to hold him now, not 3 months from now... Now! Just another thing that sucks about deployment. When you need them, they are not here. When you need the physical touch and consoling, he is not here. This is where your strength has to kick in. This is where the Army wife characteristics start to show. This is where we come together as a Army family and as Army wives to help each other get through the hard times. This is where we show what we are made of and show just how tough we are.
Another day is done, and we are getting closer... So much closer. I just have to hold on a little while longer, and then he will be home and we can pick up where we left off.
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