Day 253: Emotionally Drained

03/01/2012

I am writing tonight, not sure if I will be able to finish it because I am so emotionally drained. So, here it goes.... My oldest daughter is trying to be a teenager way too quickly. I don't know if this is in response to the deployment, school stuff, or just what is going on right now for her, but it is completely unacceptable. She is usually a great kid: Super funny, smart, well-mannered. She is not a spoiled brat and knows that she will encounter discipline when she makes the wrong decision. Always has, always will.

Well, lately, her attitude is starting to creep up. She is starting to back-talk me, have attitude when she is asked to do her chores, is rude to her siblings, and is taking on an attitude of entitlement. It has been getting worse and worse over the past few months, and has really hit my boiling point in the past two days. Yesterday, she did nothing but argue with me and said some of the meanest things to her siblings. Tonight, she did it again. My youngest daughter's bed frame is broken and I haven't been able to fix it over the past week and a half. Since then, she has been on a mattress on the floor. Occasionally, she has been feeling like she really doesn't want to be on the floor and asks if she can sleep with her sister. It is something they have done many times, without any major reason, but because Natalie asked, Emily had a fit. I gave Emily the option to either let Natalie sleep with her, or trade beds with her for the night. When she finally agreed to switch, she went back in the room and said a hurtful thing to her sister. Natalie came and told me, and it was the final straw for me. She has been so mean to both her siblings and I knew she needed to be separated for the night. So, I moved her into the "game room" and had her sleep on the futon. She proceeded to throw a fit for almost an hour. Eventually she fell asleep, but I am reminded of the times when she was a baby. Every once in a while, I would have to put her in her crib to cry because there was nothing more I could do for her. Or when she was a toddler and her terrible 2's/3's were in full swing and I had to ride out her fits and not give in. I feel just like that again... emotionally and physically drained.

I have a feeling that I am going to have to deal with her tomorrow. I need to get her alone, away from her siblings, and talk to her. She needs to know that this is unacceptable and that if it continues she will lose more of her privileges. I also need to let her talk and tell me what is going on. So, tomorrow, I am on a mission to ask a few of my friends if they can watch the other two so I can deal with her alone. Lets hope I can. Luckily, I have some great friends and I am pretty sure I can find a few that will help me. Another thing I love about my Army family.

Oh how I cannot wait until my love, my partner, and my other half is here to help me deal with these things. We are getting closer, but it seems like it is never going to end! I know that is the stress talking and that we are getting there. I just have to keep holding on.