Raising girls to become young ladies is tough. Doing it without your husband and away from your family is even tougher. I have realized that I really need to start dealing with the "coming of age" stuff with my oldest daughter and have really been dreading it. So, with my mom and step-dad here, I took the opportunity to leave the kids with my step-dad and go to the store with my mom. We got Easter basket stuff and were able just to talk about a lot of things. I needed her advice and for some reason talking over the phone wasn't good enough. So we talked about the girl stuff and how to talk to my daughters. I also asked her advice about how I am doing as a mom myself. I just don't know if I am doing a good enough job sometimes. I also wonder if I am a little to strict and over protective. It was nice to hear my mom tell me that she thought I was doing a great job with my kids. She told me that they are telling her of the great times and the discipline they get from me, both done well according to my mom. She told me that the past two nights with them have been really fun and that they are well-behaved children.
As far as the over protective thing, she told me that I was overprotective in the right ways. I shield them from bad movies and TV shows. I monitor what they do on the computer and watch them as they play outside. The nature of our culture now is hard to deal with as a parent. Kids are exposed to a lot more than I was at their age, and they are still just kids. I don't care what generation they are growing up in, they are kids who don't need to see blood and guts and sex. They need to be shielded, and my mom thought I was doing well at that too.
This deployment has made me very self-conscious as a parent because I am the only one to discipline the kids everyday. I am the only one that sees them everyday and sees how they react and behave. I don't have anyone to hand over the discipline to and ask for help. I can ask for advice, but it is hard when those people are so far away. Hearing my mom tell me that my kids are great made me feel a little better. My mom is not one to sugar coat things. If my kids were terrible and misbehaving, she would be the first one to tell me so and would tell me to get it figured out. She wouldn't tell me that my kids are good kids unless it is true. I know I can trust her judgement because she is invested in my kids and spends time with them (over the phone, Skype, and in person). She wants them to grow up to be good citizens just as much as I do.
My husband will be home soon, and then I can bounce discipline a little easier off of him. I can lean on him for support too. Soon, but not soon enough.
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