What a milestone for me today. Not sure why that is, maybe it is just the novelty of reaching 100 days of this deployment. I almost can't believe that I have come this far, and yet everyday has been a challenge in and of itself. 100 days without the love of my life. 100 days of worry. 100 days of being a single parent. 100 days of telling my kids that daddy is okay and sends his love when he can't do it himself. 100 emails to my husband telling him every boring detail of our lives. 100 blog posts telling anyone who wants to read what is going on with me. My 100 days of deployment therapy.
Today is a day that I feel strong and weak all at the same time. It is not normal for me. I am generally a strong person, and feeling weak makes me want to try harder. Or, stealing a phrase I think is awesome, I try to "fake it til I make it." I tell myself I will be okay and that I can do this, when I really feel the opposite. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. For the most part though, I am surviving. I am missing him a lot, but still functioning well. I haven't wanted to curl into the fetal position in a few weeks, so that is a plus!
100 Days are done! Just have to keep taking it one day at a time and eventually those days add up to 100, and keep going. Getting closer to seeing him!
No comments:
Post a Comment