Sunday, September 4, 2011

Day 74: No doubt in my mind

Since the day I knew we were moving, I knew he would be deploying. I had a good estimate on the time we had left before he would have to deploy, even before we even met anyone in the unit. The emotions I felt ranged all over the place. I was angry that I would be alone. Sad that he has leaving. Proud because of what he was leaving for. Afraid for his safety. Nervous about the unknowns of a new post and a new unit. Intrigued by what new adventure awaited us. Worried about how I would handle the separation. Determined to deal with it well. Motivated to thrive during the deployment for my husband and my kids.

With all those emotions never once was there fear or doubt over whether Ian and I would make it through. I knew we would. I have always known we will make it through. I knew we would survive this as a couple, because that is who we are. We are in love. We took vows and we meant it when we said forever. No matter what. This is one of those "no matter what" times.

I thought the deployment would stress us. I knew it wouldn't break our relationship, but I was concerned that it would stress our marriage. The awesome part is that it has made us stronger. It is hard to explain just because it is unexpected. I guess I knew the possibility to strengthen our marriage was there, but didn't think it would show until we were back together and using our new-found strength. The truth is that I am seeing it now. I am seeing our strong marriage grow even stronger. I am seeing and feeling us growing closer together, talking through any issues that arise, and being able to head off the big issues before they can show up. Our bond is getting stronger with the time and distance, not weaker.

I know some out there are thinking that it has only been two months, don't start celebrating yet. Well, to those I say that I will celebrate. We have made it through the first two months of this deployment and have gotten stronger. We have dealt with issues that have come up and have put those issues to rest. We have dealt with someone trying to cause problems for us and our marriage, and have in turn united even more and did not allow anyone to divide us, even with 7,000 miles between us. So far, in this two months, we have dealt with a lot that could have started a rift with us, but our marriage is stronger. That is something people don't understand. They think that because we are so far away from each other, we would be easier to divide or rift, but, thing is, our marriage was strong before he left, and it is just getting stronger everyday. People underestimate the power of love and the power of marriage. It is powerful enough to get us through this year apart. It is strong enough to survive anyone who wants to try and divide us. Our marriage is strong. I am not saying we are perfect, I am just saying we are a strong couple. We love and support each other and we have God helping us to hold this bond together. It is with God's help that we have gone this far, and it is with God's help that we will keep trucking through this deployment.

I won't say that it is another day gone, but that it is another day stronger. Another day that we are together despite our circumstances and despite those who might wish otherwise. We are another day united. Now, we are just another day closer to being united physically.

No comments:

Post a Comment