Today has been a pretty good day. I made an awesome cake for a friend's son, went to the birthday party for the kid I made the cake for, had a good time talking to friends, and left my kids to go to sleepovers. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am kidless at the moment. It is beautiful. I fully intend on sleeping in until 8:30 and taking a nice long shower without worrying what the kids are doing in my absence. It should be more peaceful in the morning.... at least I hope.
Why is it that a military wife who says she misses her husband and is sad because of her husband's deployment often gets told that she knew what she signed up for? Why are we not allowed to miss our husbands? Should it hurt any less just because we knew what we were getting into? I have heard many Army wives, as well as myself, get told this when we tell people how we feel. Sure, we knew. We knew we would be single parents off and on. We knew that deployments were part of the job description. We knew that we would have sleepless nights because of our husband being in danger. We knew that and accepted it anyway. Why? Because we love our husbands, are proud of them, and support them in everything they do. We are proud they serve and we serve silently behind them. But, just because we knew that, does it make the pain of separation and the feeling of loneliness any better? No, the pain is the same.
People who say that we knew what we signed up for have never had to have the love of their life in danger for a whole year. They have never had to worry about if the center of their family, the father of their children, was ever going to come home again. Those people can't possibly have ever known the kind of love and passion a woman must have for her husband to stand behind him as he chose to serve his country and ask her to wait for him. If they did, they would not ask. They would understand and would allow us to have our feelings. We don't say things like, "Deployments Suck" or "I miss my husband" because we are shocked that we are in the position we are in. We say those things because we truly do miss him. We support him and know why he has to go, but it doesn't mean we like him being gone. And we do this because those people who say that we knew what we were getting into are not willing to stand with our husbands to defend this country, so we have to.
Another day has finished. R&R is inching closer. I am missing him, but I know he will be in my arms soon.
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