Day 129: Just have to keep going

Today was an awesome day. I made a cake that was outside my norm and it turned out really cool. I got to go to a birthday party and hang out with some friends. Then I got a fun lesson in doing my makeup from my awesome friend Lyssa so I could have it looking good for when Ian comes home.

Every ounce of me knows it. I know he is coming home soon, and I am getting butterflies in my stomach....SERIOUSLY! BUTTERFLIES! It is kind of funny, in a way. It goes back to the dating idea again. Right now I feel just like I did when he would take me on a date before we were married. What am I going to wear? How will I look? Will he like the way I look? Then I add on the questions that come from deployment worries and being married. Is the house nice enough? What will the kids' reactions be? How will he react to all of us again? Will he still think I am beautiful? All those and way more. Everything runs through my head at any moment when I start to think of how close R&R is. Sometimes the butterflies get so bad that it is to the point of almost nausea. Not in a bad way, but in a good, expectant way. The process of him getting home takes days. Having to be patient with the process is going to be one of the hardest things about this all. Knowing he is going to be on his way, but not knowing when exactly he will be here, it is making the anxiousness even more unbearable.

The only way I have found that helps to deal with this is to just keep going. I have to keep cleaning or baking or running around. Anything to keep me from sitting still too long to think about how close I am and yet how long it will still be. It is a small price to pay to be able to see him again. I gladly pay it, a hundred times over if I must. Just as long as I get to see his face and feel his arms around me again.

My cake of the day