Day 196: Crap... I became THAT wife

I told myself I wouldn't do it. I told myself that I knew better and would not become one of those Army wives. You know the one: the one that is bitter about someone else's husband coming come when her's is not home. Yeah, well, that is me right now. I am not exactly proud of it, but I am honest about it.

Let me explain. When my husband first deployed, I would look at those "Welcome Home" signs that people would put on their houses and be happy for them. I knew it was my husband's turn and duty to deploy and I also knew that those families had just spent a year without their soldier around. So, they deserved that homecoming. They deserved me being happy for them and not upset because it wasn't my husband. I was okay with it, happy even.

Now, over 6 months into this deployment, I am feeling the bitterness come. It stems more from the fact that a lot of soldiers around here came home after 6 months of being deployed. Even that, though, I was pretty happy for them all. I am happy that these soldiers got to spend the holidays home and deserve a great homecoming. No matter how short the time away, it is always hard. I wish, like every wife does I imagine, that my husband too could come home early, but I know that someone has to stay.

I guess what really set me off was reading an article about some wives who were mad that their husbands had to stay in Kuwait to finish out their tour. I understand that they wanted their husbands home early too, but it bothers me that they are kicking and screaming about their husbands being in Kuwait. My husband is in Afghanistan and will be there to finish out his year-long tour. I think those other wives should be grateful for the fact that their husbands are in Kuwait to finish out their tour, not having to know that they are waking up to incoming fire sirens. I would consider myself lucky if my husband were in Kuwait. And there is the bitterness. I try not to be, but it just kinda creeps up on me. I understand that no matter where a soldier is, their family will miss them. I just get upset that those families are complaining so openly about the fact that their husbands are in Kuwait instead of Iraq or Afghanistan. I am not bitter that my husband is deployed, I know it is our turn to go through this and that God is using this to teach us some valuable lessons. I am just mixed with feelings of happiness for my friends whose husbands came home early, frustration for those that are complaining, and sadness because I wish mine were home already and because I am missing him terribly.

One day at a time, I am taking this one day at a time, and making it... one day at a time.