I finished out my retreat this morning and headed home. It really was a great weekend, but I have to admit that I missed my kiddos. When I talked to them yesterday, they seemed uninterested in talking to me. So I didn't know what kind of reception I would get when I came home.
I got to my friend's house and my kids were outside playing with their little friends. They really didn't care that I was there, to be honest with you. They were having fun and wanted to keep playing. Then, they came inside and gave me big hugs and told me "Hi." It was enough for now, so I just hung out for a bit talking to my friends. When we came home, I got the reception I was expecting. Away from their friends, they told me they missed me and were glad I was home. We talked about their weekend and what they did. I told them a little about mine, but it wasn't that interesting for them. I then showed them the awesome caramel apples I bought for them. They loved it, especially because they were covered with M&Ms and they rarely get sweets. I told them they could have them after dinner and they were patiently waiting for dinner to be ready so they could get their treat. Once dinner was done, I cut up their apples and they ate them happily. Afterwards, we sat down on the couch and watched a little TV.
Daniel was the one that couldn't seem to sit away from me. He was literally in my lap the whole night. All he did was sit there, holding my arms around him, and occasionally would turn around to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek. It was sweet just sitting there with my son and daughters. Once bedtime rolled around, I told them to head upstairs and get ready for bed. As Daniel was getting ready to go up, he stopped and turned to talk to me. He asked me if I would go upstairs to bed now. I told him that I would be heading up soon. He asked if I would go now and not later. I asked him why. He said that he wants me not to be tired and doesn't want me staying up late. I told him I would be going up soon, and he was worried that I would be up late.
I usually don't condone my kid telling me what to do, but his concern was genuine. It made me realize how much he does notice and how much he actually hears and sees. I guess I never thought the kids would see that I wasn't taking care of myself and that they would be concerned. I always figured they would know that they were being taken care of and that it was all they really needed to worry about. Little did I know that my little 4-year-old is worried about me being tired. Now, I know he is only 4 and might be just saying it and not be truly concerned like an adult would. I guess what surprised me more is that he noticed that I have not been going to bed and that I have been tired lately.
So, I have a new goal. I am going to make sure that I am getting adequate sleep by getting to bed shortly after the kids. Then, my kids can see that while taking care of them, I am also taking care of myself... Something I have always been bad at.
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