Day 222: Caring again

01/29/2012

Today was a busy, busy day for us. Not in the sense of running around, but in the sense of just doing a lot in the house. The kids and I went to church, then came home and got straight to work. I decided that I wanted to really work on the house, inside and out. We cleaned up the inside of the house first and got it looking really good. Then, after we finished that, we started on the backyard. I decided that I was no longer going to let the yard go out of control with the leaves. So, the kids picked up the trash that blew into the yard over the past two weeks. While they did that, I started raking up the leaves. We got a lot of them picked up and still have some more to go, but we really ran out of room in the trash can. So we are going to have to hold off and finish it after trash day.

So today was a breakthrough for me. I actually started to care about the appearance of my house, both inside and out. Before I cared enough to keep it tidy, and I even started caring enough to decorate the inside. Today, I actually worked hard on the outside of my house (typically my husband's area of expertise) and got it looking nice. I also got the inside of my house looking really good at the same time. I actually care again. Something I am proud to have done and happy to be making progress. You would think after doing this for over 7 months, I would have gotten it under control. I am learning everyday, however, that there is always something that I have not fully taken over. Most are little things, because the big things were glaring right in my face that I needed to deal with it on my own. I am dealing with it. I have accepted that I need to handle all the roles for now, big and little. I cannot let the leaves stay on the ground or the patio go without being swept. I have to keep it all together. It is amazing though how much better I feel with accomplishing the few things I did and spending a solid afternoon making my home better. I was then able to spend the night with my kids, having some cuddle time.

Overall a day full of progress and acceptance of my never ending roles. I am getting closer to being able to hand them back over to my husband, but until then, I am proud to keep his house up until he is home to enjoy it with us again.