Day 210: Motivated

Since returning from my weekend away, I am a little more motivated to start working on my goals. It was one of the questions put to us at the retreat. What are your goals as a wife and as a mother? My goal from the start of this deployment was to not just survive this deployment, but thrive through it. I told the other women in the group that I don't want my husband coming home to a defeated wife who is no more than a shell of what she used to be. I want my husband to have something worth coming home to. My goal as a mother is to just make sure my kids know everyday that they are loved by their daddy and me no matter what.

So far, in reference to my kids, I think they know that. They know mommy gets stressed out and tired, but those are just a few days out of many. I want to take my goal a step farther now. I want to find more time with them, which means I need to cut out some things in my life too. There isn't much room for adding anything else in our crazy schedule, but I think I am just going to have to work something out. I have been trying to sit down with the kids about once a week or maybe every two weeks to talk to them about how they are doing. Just a time to catch up. It seems like every time I try to do that, something comes up, or there is another activity planned. So, I am going to schedule it better.

As far as thriving during this deployment, I feel like I am about halfway. I am not exactly thriving, but I feel like I am doing a little better than just surviving. I don't feel defeated most days, though some have gotten me pretty bad. Most days I just feel okay, and only a few days do I feel great about the day. I want to change that. I know I can't will good days to happen and keep bad days away... Stuff happens. I can't control that. But what I can do is control how I react to it and how I take care of myself everyday.

So, here it is. I am going to start really putting some more effort into life. I am going to find a way to take care of my own health while at the same time, taking care of my kids and giving them more quality time. There are only so many hours in the day, I know, and it will be tough to adjust times to make this work. I have 5 more months to reach my goals, and I am going to make sure they are reached before he gets home. I know I can do it, I just have to work smarter. I have to make sure it isn't going to stress me out more, but I think that working more on spending time with the kids and taking care of myself will help ease some of the stress and not just add more to it. I guess we will see.

The days are passing by, which is all I really ask for at the moment. For days to go by so I can again celebrate my husband being home with us, his family, where he belongs. I have made it so far, and I can feel the reunion getting so much closer.