It wasn't a bad day, just a slow one. It felt like it was the day that would never end. The only fast part about it was my lunch break when I was able to talk to my amazing husband. That time always seems to fly by and it feels like I was not able to talk to him nearly as much as I wanted to. After that though, the day continued to move slowly. On a high note though, I was able to register my kids for Camp COPE. It is a day camp specifically geared towards kids of deployed, wounded, or fallen soldiers. I am so excited for the kids to be able to go to it and hope it helps them deal with all of this. Sometimes, I am not sure how they are doing because on minute they seem to be doing great, then the next minute they say something that makes me realize it is affecting them more than I know. Hopefully being around other kids going through it will help them at least talk about it.
Tonight I came home after again running errands and did some more housework. I am trying to catch up after a busy week of not being home much. The kids played outside while I cleaned a bit. Then I made dinner and sat down to eat with my kids. After dinner the kids played and I worked on some laundry. I sent the kids to bed and was getting ready to head that way myself when my husband called. I am not sure what it was about his call tonight that made me emotional, but I was crying without a real catalyst for it. I know it was just that I miss him and the time apart is starting to feel like forever again, but it is not like me to just start crying. Usually, it is because something is said or done that makes me sad, not just because. So, I tried to hide the emotions, but my husband after being with me for a decade has gotten to know me and my many faces quite well, and knows when I am getting upset. He just told me he loved me and missed me when I wouldn't tell him what was wrong, which I didn't tell him because there was no real reason. I told him I loved him too and that I was just missing him. He suggested that I call up my best friend here and ask her out to coffee. I know that is what I should do. I know I should try and get some interaction with some friends, but I am just afraid it will be a "Laura vent fest." I hate feeling like I always need to vent or talk about crap. I just want to go back to my normal self who is the supporter and rarely needs the support. Then again, maybe that is what God wants me to learn during this deployment, that it is okay to be supported by others and that I need to lean on God more than anyone else. I am starting to learn that and am getting better, but it will still take some time.
Today is finally done... Finally getting closer to seeing my husband again. I am nearing the "5 months left" mark and am so happy that I can see a faint light at the end of the tunnel. I know we still have a long way to go, but we are on the downhill slope now. Woo Hoo!
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