Today was a good day. The kids and I got to see Ian via video chat, a treat for all of us, and the kids got some time away from me (and I them) at hourly care. I had some coffee, went to the driving range at the golf course, and had a peaceful lunch. It was a great morning/early afternoon. We all came home refreshed and spent some time together. All in all, a good day.
There is something I have been thinking for a while about this deployment, it has always been on the forefront of my mind, but today it came into sharp focus. Daniel, my son, was not interested in talking to Ian today. He stopped long enough to say "Hi Daddy!" and "Happy Birthday!" and he ran off again. I could see that hurt Ian, the fact that his son did not want to talk to him or see him was hard. I tried to tell Ian that it is just his way of dealing with it (I think), by not focusing on the fact that daddy is gone and continuing what he normally does. That didn't help. I saw the pain there, and there was nothing I could say but that Daniel will come around when he is ready, that he still talks about Ian all the time, and loves his daddy very much.
It was this event that brought the fact that Ian has it so much harder than me into focus again. People always talk about what the family endures and sacrifices. Sure, we have to raise kids by ourselves, don't have him here for holidays, have to deal with the emergencies on our own, and are always worried about the soldier. Imagine the flip side of that coin. My husband has to miss a year of our children's lives, something that I can not conceive of. He will miss everyone's birthdays, Christmas, first day of school, etc. I will be here for all that. I will only have to miss him, he has to miss everything. All the while he has to put that out of his head and accomplish his mission. That is why the soldier's sacrifice is so much more difficult in my opinion. It is why soldiers are such amazing people and it validates their bravery. Think about it, they are giving up a year in the lives of their children to protect your freedoms. Pretty awe inspiring, isn't it? And that is why I proudly stand by him, no matter where we are in the world. It is why I moved with him when I knew he was going to deploy two months later. It is why I take so many pictures and write him so many emails and letters describing every minute of our day, because he is the one that is truly sacrificing. We miss one person for a year. My husband, misses 4 people for a year... and that is only his wife and kids... that doesn't count the extended family. My husband is my hero, because knowing all this, he still proudly stood up and said, "Don't worry tonight, I will protect you."
All of our soldiers have to face this sacrifice in one form or another, I hope today's blog really illustrates for you just how much a sacrifice it is. I know what I am going through is the hardest thing I have had to do, so if I am saying that what my husband and all the other soldiers have to do is more difficult, you know we can't even begin to fathom what they deal with. God, please bless our military and keep them safe as they protect us.
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