Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Day 28: How do I protect my soldier? Let me tell you.....

Today was a good day. I started out really tired as I got less than 4 hours of sleep, but got up early to meet a new friend for coffee. It was nice. The kids played at the indoor play park (too hot outside, even in the am) and we got to sit and talk. We talked for over two hours. It was good for both of us. We are both dealing with a deployment and neither one of us have a lot of friends. So, there we were, becoming friends. It was awesome. God had a lot to do with that whole meeting, we both knew it. After that, I went over to my other friend's house and the kids got to play and get wet in the backyard. All in all, a good day, even though I almost forgot how to open my eyes after blinking a few times. I was so exhausted.

The reason I didn't get much sleep is because we had an emergency on Ian's side of the family. His grandfather went in for surgery last night around 1030pm to remove a blood clot from his brain. It was scary. I found out about it around 6:30pm through a post from one of Ian's cousins on Facebook. I immediately tried getting a hold of family there to find out what was going on. I knew that I had to get mobilized. So, I got the information I needed from his cousin, contacted my FRG leader (Family Readiness Group) and told her of the problem. She said she would talk to the Rear Detachment to get "unofficial" word to the command in Afghanistan, so they could tell my husband in case he couldn't call me when he woke up (it was about 4am their time when I found out). She also told me to start a Red Cross message, just in case. So that is what I did. I got on my email, told Ian to call me ASAP so I could talk to him about something important. Called the Red Cross, got a message started, and stayed in touch with Ian's cousin to get updates as much as possible.

My stomach dropped when I got a call from the Afghanistan number I knew was my husband. I knew this was going to hurt him because his grandfather had a huge hand in raising him. It physically hurt me to have to tell him. I soldiered on, answered the phone, and started off asking where he was and if he was ok. Once that was established, I told him about his grandpa. I told him everything I knew and every plan of action I had started in case I had to pick up and drive to Iowa. I think it helped because I had information and a plan for our family and all he had to do was worry about himself and his side of things. I stayed up until his grandfather got out of surgery and they could ascertain how he was doing which was around 1:30am. His surgery went very well. I emailed Ian to let him know. We were all very happy to hear it and thanked God for helping his grandfather through this. Then, Ian sent me a message asking me to wake up so he can video chat. I wasn't asleep yet, and even if I was, I was elated to be able to see his face. We chatted for a while and I finally got to bed around 3am. It was a long day.

Most people don't understand what it means when Army wives say they are protecting their husbands. Big soldiers don't need the protection of the "little woman" at home. They are strong, tough guys. Well, yes, they are, but they still need someone to look after them. I found out about Ian's grandpa through Facebook, and I was upset about his illness. I did not want Ian finding out that way as I knew he would be more upset. I did not want him finding out through text or email that his grandfather was having brain surgery. I wanted to protect him. I wanted to make sure that when he found out, it was in the most personal way possible, given the circumstances we were in, and that all the "i"s have been dotted and "t"s crossed. I wanted to be sure that he was not heading out on some dangerous mission right after receiving that kind of news and that that he could talk it through with me or a chaplain. The only way I could do that was to talk to him. A text or email could show up at the wrong time and he could go out on a mission upset and distracted.

So, this is how I protect my soldier. I don't hide anything from him (he doesn't like that) but I do make sure that he is in the right environment to receive whatever news I have to give him. I will follow the protocol as required to get a message to my soldier and help ensure that he is supported by a chaplain and me, if possible. An email or text can't do that. I asked a few of my friends today if they would handle it that way. They all said yes. Army wives have to protect their husbands. We have to make sure that whatever we tell them is timed right and will not impact them on a mission. It is a lot to do and to deal with just so your soldier doesn't have to read about it on Facebook, email, or text. But you know what? It is worth it. This is the only way I can protect him. I will give it all I have and protect him just as fiercely as he protects me.

Another day is done. My first Red Cross message, and hopefully my last. I can't really say that is a milestone I wanted in this deployment, but, thank God, everything worked out well. My husband told me that how I handled it and told him was the best way possible I could have done it. It strengthened me to know that he knew I was there for him and he was my priority to inform and keep in the loop.

Just keep truckin' along and we will make it to the finish line: together, stronger, and more in love than ever. We are one day closer to that finish line

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