Today was an accomplishment. I woke up not feeling well and we really had no plans for the day. I got out of bed anyways and came down with the kids. I had breakfast (something I don't usually get around to in the mornings) and just spent the day with the kids. We watched TV, played some games, worked on some workbooks, ate dinner and did our chores together. After they were all in bed, I wouldn't let myself stop. I forced myself to mop my floors. It is hard to mop during the day because of kids and dogs running around and ruining it just seconds after I have done it. So, I save it for night time. Problem is, that is when I am tired and don't feel like doing it. And today I had the perfect excuse for not doing it: I didn't feel well. But, I forced myself to and I feel so much better now that it is done. Hurray for little victories.
Today was a day dreaded by most Army wives: A day with nothing to do. It is a daunting thing. The first rule of deployment is to stay busy. You schedule whatever you can for any time you can squeeze it in. You do play dates, sports, classes, lunches, field trips, gym time, etc. Anything to keep you busy. When you have a day like today, when you are home and have no plans to do anything nor do you have the drive or determination to find something to do, it can be your pitfall. It gives you too much time to sit around and miss him. That is not something most of us Army wives need. We have plenty of time for that at night or sitting at a stop light or waiting in line at the bank or grocery store. There is always time in your busiest day that you think of and miss your husband. He is always in our mind, but when we are busy, we don't forget about him, we just continue to operate while he is in our mind. When we aren't busy, we have a tendency to let the loneliness overwhelm us and that is when we shut down. Slow days are dangerous. Today was a slow day, but I was proud of myself. I didn't shut down. I didn't stop. I thought about my husband and I missed him, but I didn't shut down. I survived a slow day.
Another day gone, another day closer to sweet reunion. I don't count the days because it is one more day that he has been gone. I count the days because it is one more day closer to when I will see him again. The most anticipated day.
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