Friday, July 15, 2011

Day 23: Well, I thought I was communicating

Today seemed to fly by. It started with me not feeling so well physically, but after some OTC pain meds, I was up and running. I hung out with the kids in my room playing on educational websites with them. Ian called, the kids got to talk to him, and then he and I had a good conversation. Then, we all had lunch and got ready to head out to a kid concert. It was the Biscuit Brothers. They are a PBS show... Kind like the Wiggles but farm oriented. Anyways, it was a cheap thing to do with the kids. They had fun, got to dance and sing. I got to sit and watch them. The two girls got asked questions and got to talk into the microphone. Then, during a song, Daniel got to yell, "Watermelon!" into the mic. It was cute. At the end though, they wanted the kids to jump on one foot and Daniel couldn't do that.... and that is when it all went south. The meltdown happened and he was crying for a solid 30 min about everything he could think of to cry over. It was kinda funny actually. We came home, did a few chores, played on the Wii, had dinner and then settled in to watch a movie. Ian got up early and video called us just as the movie was starting. It was another good conversation and again, I didn't want to let him go. It was a pretty good day that seemed to fly by.

It was during our emails early this morning that I realized I wasn't doing as well with the communicating as I thought I was. Ian emailed me and suggested that with the extra money this month that we put a double payment down on the car. I wrote him back and told him I was going to put it in savings to build it back up. Then he wrote, that was a good idea, but to please keep him informed of what I am doing to start paying off stuff. That was when I realized that I hadn't talked to him about finances and what I was doing to get us back on track. He felt out of the loop, for good reason. It was totally my fault, but I am the budget person, so it never dawned on me to go over things with him. I was in the mindset that things were good, the world was not falling down around our ears at the moment, and all he needed to worry about was that he had money in his spending account to help him get through. So, when we talked this morning, we talked a lot about what we are doing with the money from the deployment. We had differing views. He wants to pay down the car quicker, but I was more of a mind to do the Dave Ramsey "Debt Snowball." (BTW Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University is AWESOME! I would suggest it to everyone...especially those in government!) So, we discussed pros and cons and other ideas and eventually came to an agreement and formed our "Plan of Action."

It was a good lesson for me. I was so caught up on making sure that everyday I told him all about our day and what we were doing and how we were doing, that I forgot to discuss the budget, which was something we did at least twice a month. The good part is that it wasn't a fight. In other couples, I think, it could have been, but Ian wasn't offended. He just asked that I keep him up-to-date on how we are doing paying things off. He knew I wasn't trying to hide anything and knew that I wasn't forgetting him or trying to phase him out. He simply knows how forgetful I can be and that I still had to get used to this. He is such an awesome husband and I feel truly blessed at having such a great, honest marriage.

I know people are tired of hearing me say it... but it is still true. One day down. One day closer to reunion. Taking it one day at a time is the best I can do. Today was good. And tomorrow, we will have to see what it brings, but for now, today is done and it was successful!

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