Day 311-321: Way too much stress

04/29/2012-05/09/2012

Well, I lost my momentum with this blog. I told myself I would write a blog everyday no matter what. Something to document this year and show that each day has counted in some way. I kind of dropped the ball. Mostly, I have been so busy, tired, and stressed that I just didn't want to sit down at night and write. I also had been talking to my husband fairly consistently and was able to talk with him about everything. In the past 10 days, I have had to deal with my daughter's school, my own doctor's appointment to get some tests run, and my son having a severe asthmatic episode that lasted for more than 5 days. It was all just a bit crazy and overwhelming.

In regards to my daughter's school, I was able to get a meeting with her principal and talked to her about what had gone on. She had not been made aware of the issue until receiving emails from both my husband and myself. She was great to talk to and she was very understanding of my concerns. I felt she really did handle it well and resolved it as best as it could be resolved.

Daniel was put on a steroid to get his asthma under control and was given some medications to manage his asthma. As of right now, I am still trying to keep it under control and having to give him treatments every 4 hours, which is difficult at times, but him breathing is well worth the issues. It is kind of funny because he gets so amped up after having a treatment that he just can't seem to control himself. Normally he is a hyper kid, add the asthma treatments and he gets worse. It can be comical, but also a bit stressful.

I took Daniel to the doctor yesterday and while we were at the doctor, I got a phone call. It was one that I wasn't expecting to get. It was from my doctor's office. They called to tell me that they got the results of my tests and said they need to see me ASAP.  They asked if I could come in that day, but I told them I couldn't because of Daniel. They then asked if I could come in the next day (today) and I was able to schedule and appointment for after school. Needless to say that as soon as I got off the phone with them, I was insanely worried. I prayed, and prayed hard. I mostly just wish they could have told me right then instead of making me wait. I know it is going to be some not so great news, because they never call you in ASAP to tell you good news. Especially since I already had an appointment scheduled for the end of the month.

I wrestled with telling Ian about it. I didn't want to worry him if it was unnecessary. I wanted to wait until I knew what the problem was before I told him anything. But, I know my husband. I know he would want to know. I know that if I held this from him, he would be upset at me. I also know that he is training right now and is not directly in harms way. So, I was okay with telling him. I will admit that if he was going out on a mission or doing something really dangerous, I would have not told him until he was safe again.

So, I told Ian yesterday. He is naturally worried about me, but I assured him that I was okay and would be well taken care of by my friends no matter what it is. I know that no matter what, I have people around me to help me out as needed. I also know that Ian wishes he was here and was able to help take care of me, both physically and emotionally. I try to reassure him more that he is doing great and that I will be just fine until he comes home.

I went to the doctor this afternoon. It really wasn't helpful. They basically told me that I have a cyst on my ovary that is about twice the size of the ovary itself. She could not tell me anything about it nor could she answer any of my questions. All she could tell me was that I had it and how big it was. She said that I needed to see a specialist and they will be able to talk to me and tell me more about it. So, now I have to wait until tomorrow to make an appointment and the wait for the actual appointment before I can get some real answers.

I am going to get through whatever this is that I have to deal with physically. I will get through each day that I need to in order to get to the homecoming day. I know we are getting closer, but I am getting more and more anxious for it. One day at a time has worked up to now, and it will have to continue to work.

Day 310: Mommy Time

04/30/2012

Today was a great day. For the first time in over a year, I have found myself a great babysitter and was able to go out by myself for the first time in a while. It was nice to just go out and have dinner and relax at a movie. I didn't feel guilty for asking a friend of mine with her own set of kids. I was able to relax and not worry that my kids were pushing my friends to their limits.

I really can't overstate how amazing it is to find a babysitter that you can trust (outside your circle of friends). Getting those precious times of some me times are great. It is also good for me because I can now start taking the kids on their own individual date nights while leaving the other two with the babysitter. I am a tad more hopeful now that I know I have some added backup here at our new home.