Sunday, August 7, 2011

Day 46: You are stronger than you think

Today was a good day. I was woken in the middle of the night by my husband's call. He just needed to tell me a quick little detail about the day and promised to try to call later. It lasted no more than a minute or two, but at the end, he asked that I please go back to sleep. It is that simple sentence that lets me know just how much he cares. I went back to sleep and was woken again by his phone call this morning. This time we had some more time to talk. It was a great way to start the day.

We then started our day and went to church this morning. After church we came home, cleaned up a little, did some grocery shopping, and then I took them to the movies. Sundays are cheap admission days for the theater, so we get to see a family friendly movie for $3 for all of us! The kids like it, but they miss their dad being here to share with them. So, while we were waiting for the movie to start, I asked the kids if they wanted to write daddy a letter with my phone. I told them that I would type and they could tell me what they wanted to say. So, each kid took turns telling me what to write their dad. It was a fun thing for them to do. Then, at the beginning of the movie, they always play the National Anthem. So we stand up and put our right hand over our hearts. Well, Daniel, so as not to leave anything out, puts his right hand over his heart and salutes with is left hand. It was so awesome. I wish I could have gotten a picture, but couldn't because I can't be that disrespectful to our National Anthem, but I am sure you all have a pretty nice mental picture of it.

Over the past few days, I have been realizing that I really am feeling stronger. Now, I know I have had my bad days that I have blogged about on here, but for the most part, those days had a catalyst (like the couch cutting incident). I am doing ok. I feel stronger. I feel like I can handle this. People, especially other wives going through a deployment, have asked me how I handle it. How do I handle all the reminders of him? How do I keep myself upright when I smell his deodorant (he doesn't wear cologne) or see his uniform lying at the end of the bed? How do I keep doing the things that he used to do with me? Well, the thing is, I don't try to avoid them at all. I embrace these reminders, because I know he is coming home to me and we will one day do the things we love doing together again. He is not gone, we are just geographically separated. It always hurts me when I hear wives talk about how they don't like to do certain things anymore because it reminds them too much of their husband or it was something they used to do with him. I think that we shouldn't shy away from those reminders, but embrace them. Be happy that you have those memories or that activity to connect you to your husband in your time of temporary separation. Trust me when I tell you this, for those of you that are military spouses, YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! I first saw this little sentence in a video slide show featuring pictures of military families and their deployed soldiers on a Facebook support page I belong to. It was literally in the first 30 seconds of the video, and immediately made me cry. Because, I didn't feel that strong, but that 6 word sentence yelled straight at me as if it was meant for only me. So, I will pass it on: You are stronger than you think. You and I will make it through this. Embrace the memories you have, do not run away from them. When you think of your husband, at any time of the day, say a prayer for him and his comrades in arms, embrace the feeling of pride you have for him more than the feeling of sadness or separation. You can miss your husband (the good Lord knows I do), but keep it healthy for you. Do more than just make it through, don't just survive, don't just do the bare minimum to get through the day. Embrace the day, live, thrive.

One more day is done. One more day stronger. One more day closer to seeing my amazing husband again.

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