Yes, today was my own personal pity party. It was the day that actually started last night with the A/C not working and just continued downhill for the most part. I woke up this morning and my A/C was actually working! So, I was excited about that. I didn't know if it would last, so I held off a little bit longer than I should have to bake the cakes I have due tomorrow.... See the foreshadowing here?
So, the A/C guy comes, looks at the filters, said that was the problem, replaced them, and left. I was grateful it was that simple and that all I had to do was keep the upstairs one off for a few extra hours and let it thaw out all the way, and then it would be good to go too. So, just as he was leaving, Ian called.
So I talked to Ian for a little while about everything that was going on, like the A/C unit, the cakes I have due, the "too much month at the end of our money" problem, and the fact that if I wanted to get a job as a substitute teacher, I would have to order transcripts to be mailed overnight. I was just feeling crappy. Everything had felt like it was conspiring against me and my mental well being. I was concerned that Ian would be upset because of the fact that I was just not able to save and pay down as many things this month as we were hoping. I was feeling sorry for myself for something that had never happened, and was not happening now. I apologized a lot and Ian kept telling me it was ok. He knows how I am, so he knew what to say. He knew that I needed him to just tell me it would be ok and I needed him to actively help me fix the budget gaps. I also needed to hear him tell me that he wouldn't be mad if we didn't get as much paid down this deployment like we had hoped. I was having a pity party, and Ian was a gracious host. He helped me through it an comforted me. Man, am I ever so lucky to have him.
After that conversation, I started to bake. I have 3 cakes to do, one of them be two, double-layered tiers. So, I got two of the cakes baked by about 1:30pm and realized that I did not have enough eggs for the third cake (required 3 cake mixes). I was about to head to the grocery store when I got a call from the pest control guy. He wasn't supposed to be here until between 3 and 5, but wanted to know if he could come earlier. I didn't have a problem with it, especially since I would not have to try and keep kids out of his way. So, he came, took care of the ant problem, and left. By the time he left, I had about 10 minutes before I had to go get the kids, which is not enough time to go to the commissary. So, I talked with my best friend on the phone and headed for school. Right around the time I hit the school, I realized I forgot to email in an important document that was needed by 3.... and it was 3:05pm. That one piece of paper would have helped me get a job as a substitute teacher, now, I won't get it. So, that was a huge downward spiral of the day. And it just kept going. I was so frantically trying to get the cakes baked and iced and then feed the kids at the same time. It was all just maddening.
The pity party rolled on. This time, without Ian to temper it a little. I was frustrated, stressed about the cakes, and just mad at myself. I would love to tell you that I was a big girl, really strong and all, and decided to pull myself out of it. But, really, I can't tell you that. My pity party was quite impressive. It spanned most of the day, and into the early morning hours. The funny part is, most of the day there really is no focus for my outstanding pity party. Hopefully, I will be able to pull myself out of it. Probably when I have these cakes done and my kitchen cleaned back up, I will be able to have a plan of attack for all these things that have gone so awry which should help pull me out of my party for one.
One more day gone, another day closer to seeing the love of my life.
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