Day 56: Yellow Ribbons and Cell Phones

Today I was on Facebook and a new friend was talking about moving back to the post while her husband finishes out her deployment. She moved home at the start of the deployment, but did not find the support she thought she would get. I have to admit, I understand what she is talking about. It is hard to live in a town where your friends and family knew the you before you married your soldier husband. Most don't understand the woman you have become. They don't get that you are not wanting to party or go out drinking. Even though you have time and can get someone to watch your kids, you do not have a desire to party. They don't understand the daily struggle of having a husband at war and raising children without their father, yet still trying to keep him in their lives. It is something that you really can't understand until you have/are in that lifestyle.

Reading about her decision to move back and be around those that are going through what she is going through made me think about my own support system. I have always said that I would not move home during Ian's deployments, barring any serious illness, because my home is where Ian is, or at least where he was before he left. I have often thought that being so far away from home would weaken me and I would not be able to cope with the separation from my husband. On the contrary. I have found my relationships, with my parents especially, have grown stronger and that I have grown stronger. I have also realized, that while still new to the area, I have a support system. It is not large by any means, but they are people who truly care about my children and me and are willing to help me out on days I need it and even days when I refuse to ask for it.

Today, my best friend stopped by for lunch on her way home, it was 30 min out of her way, but she wanted to see me and see how I was doing. It was a true gift and show of support. Another friend, when she heard that I am not sleeping well, threatened to break into my house and drug me so I would get some sleep. It was in a joking form, but her worry and care for me were obvious. These friends and the others I have made know what I am going through. They understand. They get that I don't want to go out partying (not that I have ever been one to do that), instead they invite me over for movie nights or dinner. They invite me to go get pedicures and take a break from the kids.

Army wives are a special breed. We have to rely on each other because only other military wives, former or current, fully understand the life we lead. Others can empathize, but not sympathize. Military wives understand the pain, heartache, fear, and pride that accompanies being a military wife. We are a sisterhood. We are a support group. We are a family. I do not forget about my own family, nor do I shun their support. I embrace whatever support I can get, but it is when someone knows exactly what you are going through or is going through the same thing, that you do not feel so alone. Much like our husbands in war, we have comrades in arms, soldiers carry weapons whereas we carry yellow ribbons and cell phones.