A Letter to My Husband

I have been debating this post for quite some time. It is a very personal post but I felt that sharing it might just reach someone who has been in the same funk I have been in. I wrote this letter to my husband a few weeks ago because I felt he needed to hear it and I needed to say it. I know that for some time now I have had a problem with finding all the downsides to my life. I was really good at it and didn't fully appreciate my life. One night, I started thinking about the way our life used to be. We live paycheck to paycheck, taking out payday loans (yeah, we got sucked into that black hole), wondering if we were going to be able to pay our bills that month, and just overall struggling to make it. Even then, when we were struggling I was thankful for all that we had and the family me had. Thinking back though it made me realize how far we have come and how thankful I am for this life that I have been given. I realized just how blessed we have been and how much God has really helped us along. I am not saying my life is perfect or that we don't struggle. I am merely saying that I have chosen to be thankful. So, with that, here is my letter to my amazing husband.....

Hey there handsome,

 

How are you? I wanted to write you tonight because I have been thinking about something and wanted to tell you before I forgot to. Not that I could forget to tell you this particular thing because it is something that I need to tell you more often, but I know when we get to talking, things just get left out. So here it goes.......

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you for this amazing life you have provided for our family. I have always known I was lucky. Always. I have always known that God blessed me with you and our children. I have always known that our life together is a gift from God that I cannot take for granted (though admittedly, I have at times). I know that our life that is provided for our family is through God's grace and mercy and it is His hand that has guided us along the way.

 

All that being said, I still feel like I need/want to thank you. I want to thank you for giving so much of yourself in service to our family. You have worked tirelessly and thanklessly for a long time to provide for our family. Not just financially either, you have worked so hard to ensure that our kids and myself get the love and affection we need. You work so hard to make sure you are able to say "hi" and tell us you love us every day in one form or another. You get up early or stay up late just to talk to us (me mostly :-) because you know it is what we need, especially while you're deployed.

 

I am writing this because I know I don't say it enough. I know that I take the work that you do and the sacrifices you make for granted sometimes. I keep thinking that I do so much for this family and that does not leave me room to acknowledge what you do for our family. Well, I am going to right that because you deserve it.

 

I was thinking back to our early years as a newly-married couple and as a small family and remember the day to day struggles we faced. The times when we ate less so the kids could have more, or we would make our clothes last longer than they should have because we really couldn't afford more. The times when we drove cars that were falling apart and questionable on even the shortest trips to work. Back when we were robbing (or borrowing from) Peter to pay Paul. Then, I look at the life we have now: the beautiful house, the nice cars, clothes on our backs, food, TV, medical insurance, etc, and realize just how blessed we are. I realized that I have an amazing life where I can live simply and really not need anything more. I am blessed! You have blessed me as your wife and made it such an amazing journey to be on with you.

 

I know I am rambling a bit but I really want you to know just how thankful I am to have you as my husband and personal hero. You give to your family, your church, and your country. You have such an amazing heart and are always so loving and selfless. I feel like lately I have been in a bit of a downward spiral and have been complaining about a lot of things. I have found an issue with just about every aspect of my life: your deployment, the kids, my job, the house, the cars, the bills, etc. You name it, I have found an issue I can complain about... and I have complained. I just realized tonight that I really shouldn't complain because despite the struggles of the everyday stuff, there is so much more to be thankful for and to rejoice over than any of the bad things I can come up with.

 

I guess this letter is my way of saying thank you and I'm sorry in the same breath. I am sorry I have been negative lately and I am sorry I didn't say any of this sooner. I am making a honest commitment to be content in my life, to appreciate all that you have done for us, and to praise God through it all, even the storms. I am not a usual optimist (I know you know this), but I am going to make an honest effort to become one.

 

I hope this letter makes sense to you and that you know that I truly do love you and thank you for everything you have done for our family. I thank God every day for you and continue to pray for your safe return. Until you can feel my arms around your neck and my lips on yours, this will have to suffice XOXOXOXOXOXO :-) I love you and miss you more and more every day.

 

Loving you always,

Laura